Eyes Wide Open (The Blackstone Affair 3)

“Mummy and Daddy are married.”

“Yes they are. I was at the wedding.” I smiled and wished I could get out of bed and into some clothes, but she had me good and truly trapped.

“Why do you sleep naked?”

“Excuse me? Zara, I need to get dressed—”

“Daddy doesn’t sleep naked like you do. Brynne is nice. Will you take me to get an ice cream with Rags? He loves ice cream and I let him lick it and Mummy says that’s dirty but I let him anyway. Mummy said not to come in here, but I got tired of waiting for you to wake up. You’re the only person that’s still sleeping.”

Unbelievable. A five-year-old held me captive in a bed where I could do nothing but listen, mesmerized by her litany of observations, opinions and requests, and praying for some way to escape. She gave me quite the disgusted look too with that last bit. Sort of along the lines of, “What in the hell is wrong with you, Uncle Ethan?” And really, I had to agree with her five-year-old logic too. A hell of a lot was wrong with me.

“Okay. I’ll tell you what, Miss Zara. I’ll see what I can do about the ice cream with Rags if you go on out so I can get up and get dressed.” I gave her my best eyebrow quirk. “Deal?”

“What about Mummy?” she fired off with absolutely no change of expression. This one could play poker with the big shots some day, no doubt about it. My niece was magnificent.

“What Mummy doesn’t know about ice creams won’t hurt her, I always say.” I wondered how long it would be before that declaration came back to haunt me. Probably about as long as it took for her to make her way downstairs, but hell, if it worked to get some immediate privacy . . .

“Deal.” She gave me a thorough perusal before going to the door and backing out, her blue eyes tracking me with a certain message. You better get your arse downstairs in the allotted time or I’ll be back in here.

“I’ll be down straight away,” I insisted with a wink.

I waited a good long minute after she left before getting up. I used a pillow to cover my front and made a dash, clicking the bathroom lock before I hit the shower. The last thing I needed was to get caught by a child with everything hanging out. So Brynne was down talking to Hannah . . . I wondered what they were saying about me and hurried to finish.

The shower felt good. The hot water helped clear the cobwebs out of my head. Fuck that dream last night, though. The fact that I’d had another nightmare with Brynne right there to witness it really pissed me off. And while I was relieved it wasn’t as bad as the last time, I still hated the resurfacing of shit I so did not need to be dealing with at the moment. She would want to talk about it again. . . . I’m not ready.

My hand brushed over my cock as I washed, reminding me what I’d done to her after that nightmare. She took everything I wanted to give her when it came to the sex, with no protest, no complaint, just willing and generous every time with her body, helping me to come down from the terror. She does it because she loves you. I had to wonder if her reaction had something to do with her past—the things she’d told me about her assault and how she had felt about herself when she was younger. Brynne seemed so confident to me most of the time, it was hard to imagine her feeling broken and vulnerable. My position was simple, really. I didn’t care about her past. It changed nothing in my feelings for her. She was the one—the one person I needed to be with. Now it was just a matter of convincing her of this fact. And I will . . . because I love her. I snapped down a plush towel for drying off as I stepped out of the shower.

I grinned into the mirror as I trimmed up my beard. The look on her face when I told her we should get married. Priceless. I should have used my mobile and taken a video. My smirk turned into a frown at the thought of the video sent to her last night. It reminded me I should touch base with Neil sometime today. I wanted details on the motherfucker toying with her. He wouldn’t be doing it for long, I vowed.

It nearly hurt to put myself back in the moment of last night. So many images flashed through my head—Brynne’s periwinkle dress, the pendant I’d given her around her neck, the disturbing text messages and video, the bomb threat, searching for her in a panic, and then her being ill on the side of the road. Christ! The whole thing was absolute madness. We needed a little peace and some rest. I was determined to get that for us this weekend if it killed me.

I immediately felt guilty for being so demanding with her in bed last night. Not a lot of peace and rest for my girl in there with me. I remembered the desperation to be inside her again . . . after that dream. Fuck! I was thankful I’d been less strung out than the last time, but still worried it was just too much. That I was too much.

On second thought, Brynne didn’t give off that vibe even after I’d told her about my plan for us to announce our engagement. She told me I was insane, true, but she wasn’t upset with me in any way as far as I could tell. In fact, she still took care of me after that—when I was wrecked from another twisted dream mixing all the bad from Afghanistan with worry about her. Totally. Fucked. Up. Shit. She’d said she woke me up because she didn’t want my nightmare to escalate. And what did I do for my sweet girl in thanks?

I fucked her again.

I’d taken her hard and yet she accepted what I did to her, and accepted me. She said it was okay. Yeah, she loves me, all right.

I was well aware of how Brynne’s touch soothed me like nothing else had before. She was the only lifeline that I wanted to grab on to when I found myself in that state.

Just remembering how our session ended got my blood humming and my mind taking off. I went to find clothes and realized I thought about sex way too much now. A diversion was definitely a good idea. For now. When I got her alone again, well, then all bets were off that I could keep my hands off her. Highly doubtful. It was just another testament of how well we worked together and why I was going in all the way with my American girl. I’d never needed anyone like I needed her.

A long workout was definitely on the menu for me today, I decided. Some time just doing normal things with Brynne and my family away from jobs and other problems would be a nice change. I also wanted Brynne to have a good visit here. Maybe she would be up for a run along the sea path. I hoped she felt well this morning. I slipped into joggers and trainers and grabbed my mobile.

I decided to check in with Neil before I went down. It would ease my mind to ring him. Sometimes talking through a case was cathartic.

“You’re up late today, boss,” Neil announced after the first ring.

I grunted at him. “Maybe I’ve been up for hours, how would you know?”

“Doubtful, that. I’m surprised you didn’t call as soon as you got in last night.”

“I might have . . . if I wasn’t so exhausted from a long drive and less-than-restful sleep,” I retorted. “Oh, and Brynne was ill and had to be let out on the side of the road to be sick.”

“Christ, that’s unpleasant.”

“Agreed. The whole night was pretty unpleasant.”