I press my nails into my fingertips. "The lead in A Streetcar Named Desire."
Her jaw drops. She shakes her head, regaining her composure. "Alyssa Summers! You have to take that. You'll have so much cache."
"Boss Laurie?"
She nods. "But friend too. That would be amazing, and you'll be killer in it. You'll knock it out of the park." She leans closer, her voice low. "I'm sure you're sick of playing Marie fucking Jane. I know I'm sick of writing her."
"I'm posting that on Twitter."
She rolls her eyes. "Why don't you want to do it?"
"It's six months on the other side of the country."
"It's Broadway. Right?"
"Yeah," I say. It is Broadway. It is amazing. But it's also too much time too far away from Luke. "But I don't want to be away from my boyfriend for six months."
"He'll buy you a vibrator and talk you off every night."
"Laurie!" I have to admit, I'm not exactly opposed to the idea.
"It's not worth the risk," I say.
"What risk? He's crazy in love with you."
"Yeah, but..."
"But nothing. You should do it. If you want to. I'll visit you constantly. I'll show you around all the cool parts of the city."
"You lived in New York?"
"Please. I'm a Tischie," she says. I stare at her like she's crazy. "NYU Tisch School of the Arts. Oh, never mind. But I can show you a killer time, a killer 'totally appropriate for grown-ups' time."
"But what if Luke realizes he prefers being without me?"
"Not in a million years."
"It's possible," I say. "This is why all these Hollywood marriages break up. People are off shooting halfway around the world and they fall out of love. I don't want that."
"So you'll work at it."
"I'll miss him. He'll hate whoever I'm hanging out with. We'll fight and hate each other. I can't do it."
"But can you really say no to the lead in a Broadway revival? Really?"
I bite my lip. "How can I say yes?"
"Just do it. Just call your agent and say yes. It will be the best six months of your life. It's New York."
&nbs
p; I shake my head. I wish I had Laurie's optimism, but it really isn't worth the risk. Not if I could lose Luke.
***
I get home late, but Luke is still in his suit. He looks eager, like he's been waiting for me.
He greets me at the door with a long kiss. I feel calmer already. Right now, I need to be in his arms, to feel his body around mine so my stupid brain will shut up.