"It was perfect."
She's talking to me. That's all I could ask for.
"I just got off the subway," she says. "Can I call you back when I'm in the apartment?"
"Sure," I say. "But I am in the middle of taking off my clothes."
"Oh."
"Mhmm. I can't stand this awful suit any longer."
"You're still at work?" she asks.
"Unfortunately."
"You've been working late a lot."
"I won't make it a habit."
She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "So what are you still wearing?"
"My boxers."
If she were here, she'd be staring at me with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. And I could press her against the wall and rip off her clothes. It would be perfect.
She takes a nervous breath. "I'll call you back in five minutes. Don't even consider starting without me."
"Starting what?"
"Mr. Lawrence, I know you aren't that naive."
Alyssa is finally trying to talk to me. I shouldn't ruin that with sex, but my body is not cooperating. I can see her in that apartment, slipping her dress off her shoulders, sliding her fingers over her curvy thighs. I can see her eyes pressing closed, her teeth sinking into her lips, her back arching. She's moaning, squirming on the bed, digging her toes into the sheets.
I tighten my fists. No. Net yet. I won't let my body get the best of me, no matter how damn good it would feel to come with her.
It's not happening until we finish this conversation.
My phone rings. Alyssa. I pick up, about to say hey, when she speaks. "Are you alone?"
I could lie, tell her my assistant is here, that I'm not ready yet. But my body won't allow such a thing. It needs some possibility of this ending with her moaning in my ear. "Yes."
She takes a shallow breath. "And you're... God, this is still weird."
"Ally, maybe we should talk first."
I cringe, expecting resistance. But there's nothing but her breath.
"Okay."
"You're scared," I say. The words are toxic in my mouth, an awful taste I can't get out.
"I'm sorry."
My heart sinks. She's such a martyr sometimes, trying to take on the weight of the whole fucking world. I'm not sure there's any way to convince her she could never be a burden. But that won't stop me from trying.
"Don't do this. Don't hang yourself because you're afraid you're disappointing me. I'm glad you're talking to me."
"It's an impulse."