Fill Me (Rouse Me 3)

"I want to absorb everything."

Alyssa shakes her head. "You don't fool me for a second. But fine." She takes a seat on a short rock.

I find a place to sit near her and bring my gaze to

her eyes. She's taking in the scenery with a certain amazement.

She's happy.

I'd hate to destroy that.

She brings her gaze back to me. "What are you thinking?"

"How lucky I am to have you."

"Cute answer, but what are you really thinking?" She brings her fingernail to her mouth, biting it like it has all the answers.

"How lucky I am to be here with you." I shift, but I keep my eyes on her.

"That's very sweet."

"My specialty."

She nods. "I feel that too you know. Lucky that you put up with me."

"Ally... it's not like that."

"Never?" Her eyes turn towards the expanse of sky. Like there's an answer somewhere in the clouds.

"Everyone gets frustrated sometimes."

She shakes her head like she accepts the answer, but she doesn't. There's something off about her posture, a discomfort.

"Are you frustrated I haven't told you about the phone call?"

"If you say it's not important, I trust you."

"We don't always agree about what is or isn't important." She brings her expression back to me for a second, and then her gaze is back on the ground.

Whatever this is, she's afraid to tell me.

"I do trust you." I slide to my feet and kneel in front of her. "I mean it."

She looks down at me and nods. I offer my hand and she takes it. She squeezes it so tightly she nearly cuts off my circulation.

"Do you want to tell me?" I ask.

She nods. "Give me a second." She takes her hands back and runs them through her hair. She adjusts her tank top, her shorts, anything that can serve as an excuse. Then she brings her eyes back to me. "Are you sure you won't get upset?"

I laugh. "Now I know we've had this conversation before."

She nods and looks away again. I bring my hand to her cheek, turning her back to me.

"I mean it," I say.

She takes a deep breath. "It was Ryan. I was on the phone with Ryan."

My stomach drops.