Fill Me (Rouse Me 3)

"I didn't fuck him," she says. "In case you were wondering."

"I assumed."

She folds her arms in irritation. "I barely hugged him good-bye."

"Ally, I believe you weren't physical with him."

Finally she brings her gaze back to me. She's studying me. Probably deciding if she trusts me enough to explain.

I take another deep breath. I need to be someone she can trust, someone who won't overreact. "Okay. Why don't you tell me why this is bothering you?"

She nods. "It will sound stupid."

"I'm the king of stupid."

She cracks a tiny smile. "He said about what I'd expect. He apologized for being an asshole way back when. He said he wished me the best. That he forgave me for everything."

"I'm guessing you weren't calling him this morning begging for more forgiveness."

Her eyes find mine. There's shame in her expression. She's ashamed of whatever it is she was doing with Ryan that wasn't sex.

"Ally, you're killing me here."

"He said something in New York that really got to me. Something about how he really hoped you could handle how difficult it is to reach me." Her voice gets low and soft. "The last three months... you weren't exactly trying to reach me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She shifts out of the sun so she's turned away from me. "I had to know if he meant it. If he really thought being with me was that miserable."

"And?"

"He said he'd never manipulate me. On purpose."

"I doubt he would call it manipulation."

"Can we not start about Ryan?" she asks. She shifts off the rock and unfurls on the ground.

She didn't sleep last night.

"Okay. We won't start." I lay down next to her. Push the hair from her eyes.

She looks more tired than anything.

"But I need to know why you didn't tell me about Ryan."

"I knew you would overreact." She stretches her arms over her head and closes her eyes.

"You know everything, don't you?"

"Luke... Don't start."

"Then tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you talking to Ryan about our relationship?"

"I wasn't," she says. "I was talking to him about my relationship to him." She opens her eyes and looks straight at me. "As I recall, you spent a lot of time talking to Samantha, that's your ex-fiancée by the way, about your relationship with her. In fact, I recall her trying to kill herself and you rushing to her hospital room. You were with her for weeks."

One week. My ex-fiancée tried to kill herself, and I spent a week with her. To make sure she was okay. Eventually, she overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. Hell, she begged me to leave Alyssa for her. But I ended her friendship the minute she...

Okay. Shortly after she overstepped her boundaries.