He grabs a paper bag from the kitchen. He hands it to me. "Is that enough?"
I nod. It's too much, really. I don't want to take anything from here. I don't want to set up shop at Laurie's. "I only want a few clothes."
"Ally, I did mean what I said in Hawaii."
I don't want to ask which thing he meant. It could have been that I'm always welcome here. It could be that he still wants to be my friend. Or it could be that he's intent on staying broken up.
I set the bag on the table and place my coffee next to it. "Hey, Luke..."
He looks at me with every ounce of his attention. "Yes."
"I have something for you."
Any hint of joy drops off his face as he looks at the ring. "I'm not taking it back."
"It's your mom's."
"I don't care. I want you to have it."
I shake my head. "I wasn't talking about the ring, actually."
"Good, because I'm not giving up on that."
I swallow hard. The leather of my purse is smooth and supple against my fingertips, but I have to let go. I have to pry that notebook out and hand it to him. I take a deep breath, trying to ease the knot of tension in my chest. It will be easier once I give this to him. I'll be done.
I reach into the purse, running my fingers against the slick cover of the notebook. There's no more hiding after I give him this.
I suck a deep breath into my lungs. The room is bright, but it's not overpowering.
This might turn out okay.
I pull the notebook from my purse and hand it to him. He presses his fingers into the cover, staring at it like it's the greatest work of American literature.
He offers a tiny smile. He must be relieved I'm not insisting he keep the ring. But why? If he's really dead set on breaking up, he should take it back.
That's more than something.
He turns the cover, his eyes passing over the first page. My stomach twists in knots.
"Don't read it yet," I say. "Please."
He nods, closing the cover. "Okay."
I take a deep breath, breaking up the tension in my chest. "I, uh, I made some plans. For this weekend. I know you made yourself clear in Hawaii. And maybe that whole thing about making me happy was sparing my feelings, but..." My head spins. God damn. It really is bright in here. "Just, well, if you change your mind. If you decide you want to be with me, then meet me at the marina at eleven a.m."
He laughs. "Bright and early at eleven a.m.?"
I nod.
He meets my gaze. His eyes are still so gorgeous, so big and brown and full of life. A long silence passes. Staring into each other's eyes is all the answer we need.
"Okay," he says.
A lightness floods my body.
This really might turn out okay.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR