"Luke, I'm sorry," she says. "I wish I could apologize enough."
"Then stop trying to take my house."
"I earned it." She sighs. "He was ashamed to be with me. He was the one who always talked me out of breaking up with you. I wanted to end it. I wanted to stop stringing you along, but he was worried about you. And about his reputation. About how it would look. Even when I offered to keep our relationship a secret for a while, to leave the firm, he wouldn't do it. He didn't want to look like some asshole who stole his son's girlfriend."
"You could have told me," I say. "I could have used the mercy."
"I'm a coward." Her voice breaks. "I tried to tell you at the hospital. I'm a pathetic coward. I was ruining your life then, and I'm ruining it now. You should stop talking to me. Keep the house. I don't need it. I won't need anything."
"Sam, don't--"
"I don't deserve your friendship," she says.
"That's not what I want."
"I'm sorry." She chokes back a sob. "I'm a bitch," she says. "I was such a bitch. You should stop talking to me. You should move on with your life, to some woman who will treat you better."
"No, Sam..."
"I'm sorry. No, you should have it. It's yours. He was your dad. You're entitled to it. Besides, you deserve the hush money more than I do."
"No," I say. "You need it."
It's not like I have a choice. I have to say yes. It's either I say yes, or I worry that this is the thing that will push her. That she'll do it again because there's this hole in her heart that's shaped like our house. It's either I say yes, or she hints that she's going to try to kill herself again.
She always puts me in this position. My only choices are do what Samantha wants or dare her to make due on her latest threat to attempt suicide.
How long have her requests been veiled threats? Do this for me or else I'll be so miserable I'll give in to my suicidal impulses again. Come see me or I'll be so lonely. And I don't feel safe lonely. I don't know what I'll do... Please, Luke. Please, don't leave.
Another wave of dizziness hits me.
Samantha has me pinned. I'm not going to ignore her. I'm not going to sentence her to depression. I know she's manipulating me. She may know it too.
But I still have to help her.
I can hate it as much as I want. I'm not going to abandon her now.
I just hope Alyssa will understand.
I take a deep breath. This house means a lot to me, but only because it means a lot to Alyssa.
Samantha's breath slows, until she's calm. "I'm going to figure out exactly how much I owe you."
"I don't care about the money."
"I do. I already can't pay you back for how much you've helped me. I'm not going to be in debt for half a mortgage either."
"We can split it exactly."
"No. He put in for the down payment."
"Why don't you draft a contract? I'll start looking for a new place."
"Are you sure?"
I clench my fists. This is my best option. "He would have wanted you to have it."
It's awful, but it's my best option.