Stir Me (Rouse Me 2)

"I thought so. And the character is great. She's dynamic, strong and vulnerable all at once. A bitch sometimes, but still sweet and caring. And she isn't the love interest. She's not the hot babe. She's the star." She squeezes my hand tighter. "It's stupid. It's not a big deal at all, really. I shouldn't be upset."

"What happened?"

"Well." She turns her gaze back to the water. "He talked so much like he was different. He talked about how he wanted to make something real and gritty." She imitates him, hunching over, clutching an invisible cigarette. She brings the invisible cigarette to her lips and inhales deeply. "I see all this fake Hollywood bullshit. Happy endings, pretty people. It's all fake. That's not the world. That's not life." She exhales from her fake cigarette, looking to the sky ever so pretentiously. "Life hurts. And I'm not about to show people sanitized bullshit. Have you ever seen downtown LA in a movie? It looks so clean. So fake." She shifts back to her normal posture. "He went on and on about how real he wanted the movie to be."

"Sounds like a douche bag."

"Yeah, basically." She pulls the blanket tighter. "I liked his passion at first. He had me convinced." She bites a fingernail, her eyes on her knuckles. "I really thought he was different."

"But?"

"He told me I was too fat to play the lead." She pulls her fingernail from her mouth and presses it into her free hand. "Not in those words, of course. But he got the point across."

"Ally, I'm so sorry."

"It shouldn't bother me. This is just how it is for actresses. We need to look a certain way if we want to fit into roles."

"That's bullshit."

"Sure, but there's nothing I can do about it. And your outrage isn't going to make it any easier."

"If you tell me where he lives, I'll kick his ass."

She cracks a smile, but she shakes her head. "That's not necessary."

I move closer to her. All my attention is on her, so I can soak in every ounce of this moment. "I'm so sorry. I wish you didn't have to go through this."

She bites her lip. "I don't. I don't have to keep acting." The look on her face is grim, like it's a horrible thought she hates considering.

"You love acting."

"Yeah, I know, but... maybe Ryan was right. Maybe I can't handle it."

"Alyssa, don't do this to yourself. Don't let him back into your head."

"I'm not."

"You are." I run my fingers across her cheek, tilting her head so her gaze meets mine. "He convinced you that you're weak. He convinced you that you're useless without him. But he's wrong. You are the strongest person I know."

She shakes her head. "This has been so hard. Especially on my own."

"You don't have to be on your own. I'll always be here."

"Always?"

"Always." I press my lips into her forehead.

"Even if I sleep with Ryan?"

"As long as you help me hide the body."

She laughs. "You know, I'd never..."

"I know."

She looks into my eyes. Her eyes are so bright, but there's a sadness in them. She's still upset. I wish my words were enough to convince her she deserves every bit of happiness in the world.

She continues. "There's going to be a point, one day, where I'm too old to play the hot ex-girlfriend, and I'm going to be miserable, pulling my hair out."