He's not scooping me into his arms and spinning me again.
He's not happy. His eyes are turned down and his brow is furrowed.
He takes the paper and reads it slowly. "You're moving to New York City?"
"It's only for two years." I reach for his bicep but he pulls his arm away. "I told you I applied."
"You said there was no chance you'd get in."
"I thought there wasn't."
"You're supposed to tour with us all summer. You're supposed to start that job here in November." His eyes fill with frustration.
But that doesn't make any sense.
I reach for him again. This time, he lets me touch him. But he stares at my hand like it's doing him wrong.
What the fuck? I expect this shit from everyone else. I get that it's weird that I love math. Everyone acts like it makes me a freak. Everyone except Ethan.
He gets it.
He always has.
Why isn't he happy for me?
Maybe he's still surprised. Maybe he doesn't realize that this is a beginning and not an ending.
"Things will be the same as they are now. Only I'll be in New York." I stare into his blue eyes. "You can stay with me when you aren't touring. I can fly out on weekends."
His eyes bore into mine. "You already decided?"
What? This is what I want, what I've always wanted. He knows that.
"You're just leaving. Like that?" He takes a step backwards.
"School doesn't start until late August." I… I don't get it. I go to all his shows. I do everything I can to support Ethan's band.
It's not an obligation.
We're a team.
Violet and Ethan against the world. That's our fucking motto.
He's still staring at me like I'm betraying him. "If you want to leave, then leave."
"It's not like that."
"What's it like? You're leaving cause you're so crazy in love with me you need to be three thousand miles away? You've been pushing me away since Asher… you don't want to talk, fine. You don't want to be in the same state as me, fine. Go."
I grab the paper from his hands. "It's not like that, Ethan."
"Then explain what it's like."
"We're a team."
"Teams don't make unilateral decisions." He pulls his door open and takes a step into the hallway. "You've already decided to leave. Why drag it out?"
"Ethan…"