I stay put. "Aren't you playing in Baltimore tonight?"
"Dangerous Noise is, yeah. These guys have to leave in about twenty minutes, but I'll be here playing Garbage songs until I get kicked off the stage."
"You know enough?"
"I know enough to play all night."
"You're skipping the show?"
Ethan nods. "Turns out there's some place I'd rather be."
My heart melts. He's skipping the show for me. I want to jump into his arms. I want to jump into his arms hard enough to knock him on stage then I want to order him to go down until I am coming up there.
But it's just one show. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.
He plants his Converse-clad foot on the edge of the stage. "The New York City bug bit me. I've got a hotel around the corner."
Athena screams, "Yeah, baby."
Ethan laughs.
My cheeks burn.
He motions come here. Even though I stay put, he continues. "I'm staying a week and a half. We have three shows across the eastern seabord. I'm gonna be at all three of them, but I'm only leaving for the day. Got a car hired to take me there and bring me back."
My breath catches in my throat. "You're going to be here for a week and a half?"
"This is where I want to be." He jumps off the stage and takes a few steps towards me. "I want to be where you are, Violet. The other day, I wanted to stay. I wanted to choose you over an opportunity. I wanted to choose you over music, and that fucking terrified me. Ever since I got my shit back together, I've put music first. I thought I was giving up some part of myself if I let it fall to second." He moves closer. "But when I walked out of your apartment, I left a part of myself there. And I fucking need that part back, Violet. I want to meet you halfway. I want to be in your life, where you need me, whe
n you need me, how you need me."
I run my fingers over the back of his hand. This is really Ethan. He's really saying this. He's really staring at me with all that affection in his deep blue eyes.
"I know you don't think I'm a fuck-up, and I'm starting to come around to believing that. But I did fuck this up. I fucked us up. And I can't live with that, not without trying as hard as I can to fix it." He takes my hand. "I love you, Violet. I'd rather lose my left hand than lose you again."
"Really?"
He nods.
"You can't." I lean in to whisper. "I need it."
Ethan laughs. He presses his cheek against mine as he pulls me into a tight embrace. "If you ask me to get lost, I will. Otherwise, I'm going to be around until you're ready to invite me back into your life."
"I…" I dig my fingertips into his back, over his t-shirt. His body is warm and hard. His strong arms make me feel safe. There's no doubt, I want to be here. When I pull back and stare into his eyes, there's no doubt that I want him here too. "Okay."
His smile spreads to his ears. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Remember that question girls ask me about my tattoo?"
I tug his t-shirt down his chest and trace the heart's ornate lock. "Baby, do I have the key to your heart?"
He nods as he pulls his shirt lower. "Yeah, you do." He points to a fresh piece of ink just below the winged heart.
It's a skeleton key with Violet written on the shaft.
I trace the design with my fingers. It's a real tattoo. It's really there, on his skin, forever.