I bring my gaze to Bella's pretty brown eyes. "I should have realized a long time ago. They're different than each other in this way that… I thought it was good, but Mom wasn't happy."
"How's your dad different?"
"He's all logic. No intuition, no feelings, no emotion. It's easy to convince him of something, even if it doesn't quite add up."
"Like taking the letter of the law and ignoring its intent?"
"Exactly." Some of that tension in my chest softens. "I guess I could have been a lawyer."
"You could." She reaches over to run her fingers through my hair. "It's embarrassing how little I know about you, considering" She motions to my ring finger. "What were you studying in college?"
"I dropped out before I could decide. Mom was pissed about that for a while. No, not pissed. She was disappointed."
"That's worse."
A lot worse. I nod. "She thought I was running away because it was too hard."
"Were you?"
I say nothing.
"You were." Bella's voice gets bright. "I can't believe Joel Young has ever backed down from a challenge."
"It was one of the only times."
She shoots me an I'm not sure about that look.
I hold up my four fingers. "Scout's honor."
"Were you a scout?"
"I know how to tie a knot."
She laughs. "You're a flirt."
"You like it."
She nods. "But you don't fool me. I know you're evading because you don't want to talk about this."
She's right.
I want to share this with her, but the words are heavy. They lead to an ugly place. Everything about my parents leads to an ugly place.
They've been unhappy for a long time.
I've been lying to myself for a long time.
I call everyone else on their bullshit. I refuse to tolerate it. But I've been blind to my own shit for so long.
The hipster guy saves me from having to broach the subject. He winks as he drops off our sandwiches and takes our numbers. "Can I get you anything else?"
Bella shakes her head. "No, thank you." She takes a dainty bite of half her sandwich.
A laugh breaks up the tension in my jaw. "You're always so prim and proper."
"How's this." She lifts her pinky like she's having a formal tea. "Better?"
"Yeah."