"I'm not a good singer."
"Do it anyway."
He nods. "You have a request?"
"Um... Oops I Did it Again."
He pulls out his phone and finds a karaoke video of the song on YouTube. He stares into my eyes as he hits play. His cheeks flush as he sings the first verse.
He isn't a great singer, but he's not bad either. His gaze flits between the lyrics on the phone and me. By the second verse, he manages to get within range of the pitch.
He sings the entire song. "I'll work through every fucking single Britney's ever put out if that's what it takes."
I shake my head. "My pho is getting cold."
He chuckles. Then he's smiling.
It lights up his eyes. It makes me warm everywhere.
"I've been thinking." He slides his phone into his pocket and stares into my eyes. "About your question?"
"Which question?"
"You asked if I was sorry if I made you come or if I was sorry I left."
Now, I'm blushing. "Oh." My heartbeat picks up. "Did you come to a conclusion?"
"I'm not sorry I did it."
My heart is thudding against my chest.
"I don't regret it." He sets the takeout bag on the ground and moves closer. "Fuck, I can't remember the last time I wanted anything as much as I wanted to watch you come."
I'm hot everywhere.
"I shouldn't have left like that."
"I didn't want you to leave." I understand why he did. I understand that this is messy. But it still hurts. And the wound is still fresh.
"This is your life too, Piper. Mal and Ethan aren't just my bandmates. They're your brothers."
"I know."
"This, us being together, will fuck with your life too. They might throw fits. Might be hurt you kept this from them."
"Maybe." It's true. This will have collateral damage. That doesn't excuse his leaving, but it is true.
"Piper, I don't have a fucking doubt in my head. I need you." His eyes fix on mine. "The last time I wanted something to wipe my pain away, I thought about you before I thought about using."
"What does that mean?"
"I want you. I'm fucking miserable over us not talking. I'm pissed at everyone. Mostly at myself for being the cause of this." His voice gets soft. "I don't want to put this on you. I'm an adult. I know what I've done, and my recovery is not your fucking responsibility. I don't want to put any of my shit on you."
"You're not. When people care about each other, they help each other. They count on each other." My chest flares with frustration. "They count on each other to stick around."
"I know." He looks to the ground for a moment then his eyes are on mine. "I know a lot of people have left you. I fucking hate that I added to it." He moves closer. "I know what I want. I want to be with you. But, Piper, I'm a fucking mess. I... If I was giving you advice, I'd tell you to run far away from a guy like me."
"Good thing I'm not interested in your advice."