There isn't enough space in here for how badly I want her.
For how deeply I care about her.
I break our touch to move into the kitchen. "You must be hungry."
She shakes her head. "Not anymore." She moves to the couch, takes a seat, and slips out of her heels.
"You should eat."
"Later. I'm too angry right now." Her eyes go to the floor. "Or maybe too disappointed."
Fair enough.
I pour two glasses of water and bring one to her.
She looks up at me as she wraps her fingers around the glass.
Her lipstick leaves a pink stain on the glass.
I shake off my thoughts of where I'd like her lips.
"You want to talk or you want to find some TV show that will drown out your thoughts?" I take the middle cushion on the couch
. I'm close enough my knee touches hers.
"No TV. My head is buzzing." She downs half her water and sets it on the coffee table. Her eyes meet mine. "Did Joel say anything else?"
"Nothing important."
"Oh." She folds her hands in her lap. "I... I don't know where to start. I should be relieved that Mal didn't announce he was kicking you out of the band."
"Don't worry about me."
She shakes her head. "You're my friend. That's what friends do. And with everything... I don't want to get in the way of your life."
She doesn't. Right now, she's the best thing in my life.
But that doesn't mean this should happen.
"Tell me what happened with Mal," I say.
Her gaze fixes on the downtown skyline. "It was a stupid fight. Mal took our parents side. I don't understand that. They bailed as soon as he was old enough for it to be legal. They skipped his graduation. And mine. They didn't even notice Ethan dropping out. They haven't been to one of our events since I was ten. Younger even. And Mal was willing to uninvite me from your festival tour—"
"Mal invited you to come to Europe with us?"
"Then he took it away." She pushes herself to her feet and moves to the window. "This is why I need to do something practical. Like Violet, studying math."
"Violet loves math."
"Yeah. She's lucky. I'll have to find a way to love something practical." She presses her lips together. "As long as you rely on someone, they can hurt you. They can lord everything they have over you."
"That doesn't mean they will."
"I didn't think Mal would. He gave me a suitcase and a card then he took it away to get what he wants." She sighs and takes a seat on the windowsill. "I have to move out. I can't live at my parents' place anymore. Not after this."
"Give it the weekend."
"Maybe." She presses her back against the window as she turns towards me. "They pay my tuition. All my expenses. Everything."