"Yeah you do." He takes a sip of his coffee. "You care about her. She cares about you enough to drive with me all night. And we both know how fucking annoying that must have been for her."
I have to chuckle. Joel can be overbearing, but he wears it with pride.
"Pretty embarrassing for me, singing along with all her CDs." He shakes his head. "Fuck knows there's a reason why I don't sing backup."
Again, I chuckle. Talking like this with Joel feels normal.
He looks up at me. "I get that you want to protect her. She's a sweet girl. I want to protect her too. But she loves you, Kit. Or something close. She's not a fucking child. You need to let her make that decision for herself."
I say nothing.
"Unless that was bullshit." He mutters under his breath. "Sounded like bullshit to me." He shakes his head and looks back to me. "If it was bullshit, and you were too fucking cowardly to own that you didn't want to be with her... then fucking own that."
"It's not."
"Then you're a fucking idiot." He gets up and pulls me into a hug. "I get it." His voice gets serious as he steps backwards. "But fucking fix it. Or I'll be the bandmate who kicks your ass for breaking Piper's heart."
After Piper wakes, we have a quick breakfast slash lunch and take her car to the hospital.
Joel hangs a few steps behind us.
Piper stays close. She squeezes my hand as we walk through the automatic doors.
This time, we're in the right waiting room. With the soft afternoon light bleeding through the windows, the place isn't as bleak or blinding.
It's visiting hours. We go straight through the double doors, to my mother's room. My phone is still dead—never did find my charger—but Dad should k
now we're on our way. Joel took care of that.
We stop outside her room, in the hallway. Dad is sitting in one of the chairs against the wall, his back to us. Mom is sitting up in bed, in a hospital gown. She's awake now. She looks better than I'd expect. Her chestnut hair is messy and her skin is pale, but she doesn't look sick. She doesn't look like someone who nearly died yesterday.
Piper rubs the back of my hand with her fingers. The affection in her touch breaks up the tension in my shoulders. Joel was right about one thing—she cares about me, maybe even loves me.
Maybe he's right about the rest. I'm a mess, yeah, but if she knows that... if she knows I might weigh her down... then how can I tell her she shouldn't choose to be with me?
I want to be with her.
I chose to be with her even when I knew it might be the end of being in Dangerous Noise.
She rises to her tip toes to whisper in my ear. "You ready?"
Never going to be ready. I nod anyway.
She offers me a you can do it smile as she pulls the door open.
"I'll wait out here." Joel nods to a chair in the hallway then he takes a seat.
Everything else falls away as I step into the room. It's like things are moving at slow motion. I can hear every beep of the heart rate monitor. I can see every place the sun is casting glare.
I can see every expression flitting over Mom's face.
"Christopher." Her voice is shaky. "Your father mentioned you were coming. But I didn't..."
The implication is clear. She didn't think I would come.
I nod. "We got up late."
"He was here all morning." Dad offers his hand to Piper. "Keith. Nice to meet you."