My need to pry his head open mocks me.
No strings attached means no strings attached.
I have to live with it or I have to demand something else.
My early morning exhaustion fades as soon as I step out of my car.
This is a real shoot, not some guerrilla student film. There's a real camera on the beach, a real camera operator behind it, a big setup of lights, PAs running around with reflectors.
There's a fucking makeup tent.
Usually, I'd be one of the people running around taking orders. But not today. Not anymore.
Friday is my last day with Danielle. Friday is the last day I have to take orders for a long time.
Well, from anyone but Mal.
Not that I can complain…
Ahem. I'm here to work, not to swoon over my definitively-not-a-boyfriend. He wants to be alone. I agreed to the either of us can say when at any point terms.
He's fucked on the alone front. There are a dozen people here, besides the band, but hey—that's the glamorous life of a rock star.
He's not ruining this for me.
No one is ruining this moment for me.
Least of all my demanding heart.
I double-check that my car is locked and I take the concrete steps down to the beach. We have about an hour until the light is right, then we have about six hours until we have to bail for the first wedding.
PAs are setting up the wedding gear right now. The altar is in place. This time, it has hot pink ribbons and lush red roses. For a second, my eyelids flutter closed. I never could see myself marrying Adam, but I can see myself walking down the aisle.
I can see Mal there in that suit, a mega-smile plastered on his usually stoic face.
Snap out of it, Lacey. Even if you and Mal find a way to actually be together, you're a long ways off from marrying the man. This is crazy fangirl talk.
He's there, not standing at the altar with a few dozen of our friends and family watching with rapt attention. He's outside the makeup tent.
He turns from the ocean. His eyes brighten as they meet mine. Something in his posture changes, but from here I can't tell if he's softening or stiffening.
I move closer. I can't help myself. We have an hour until we shoot. I only need half that time to make sure I have my shots aligned. That leaves thirty minutes with Mal.
He looks so good in his suit. The entire band is in suits. Ethan and Joel are just outside the tent, sparring about something. The hair and makeup girl is trying to do something to Kit's mass of wavy hair. He doesn't look happy about it, but he isn't complaining.
Mal meets me halfway. His blue eyes fix on mine. His lips curl into the world's smallest smile.
His fingers brush the backs of my hands.
The sights and sounds of the beach and the setup blur together. Mal is the only thing in focus.
"Hey." He slides one arm around me. His palm rests on my lower back. "You're early."
I nod. "Are you okay?"
"I'm here."
It's a fair enough answer. I stare into his beautiful blue eyes. He's staring back like he needs me.