"He is!" She squeals. "Let's put the issue of your secrecy aside for a moment." Kara leans in close, her eyes wide. "What was it like fucking him?"
"Good."
She stares at me. "Good? You call that a detail? I want a better fucking detail!"
"Is great a better detail?"
"Technically, great is better than good."
"You sound like an English teacher."
"Thank you." She taps her fingers against her jeans. "So…"
"Very, really good. He's good at everything, and he's more tender than you'd expect. But it's just sex. It's really not a big deal."
"Not buying it, sweetie." She shifts to the other side of the couch. "Was it only once or have you been seeing him?"
"A few times. We're… friends with benefits."
"And what, he picked you up last night and dropped you off here with a change of clothes?" She studies me like she's looking for cracks.
"This is why I didn't want to say anything."
"What is?"
"Stop looking at me like I'm fragile. I'm not going to break because of a little casual sex."
"Fine. As long as it feels casual to you. Does it?"
Damn, is she a mind reader? It doesn't exactly feel casual. But he's been clear about not wanting more. And I don't want more. "I don't want feelings for anyone. What if a medical school in New York is my best option? I don't want anything affecting my decision. Certainly not feelings for a guy."
"But you have feelings for him?"
"We're friends." I think. I hope.
"Hmmm." She nods. "Okay. You're a big girl. I'll drop it if you give me every detail!"
"Every detail?"
"Not a blow by blow." She laughs. "Just tell me what's going on. You know, like we're best friends or something."
"That would be something."
"Wouldn't it?"
"Okay." I take a deep breath, and I start at the beginning. I'm vague about the sex and about how mixed up he makes me feel, but I include all the other important details.
When I'm finished, she throws together a plan. There's a Sinful Serenade show Saturday and the two of us simply must make an impression. She has just the outfit I can borrow. Our height and cup-size differences are not an issue.
"You know how we're best friends and we tell each other things?" I ask.
"I don't like where this is going."
"Why are you trying to make an impression if you're set on staying just friends with Drew? You do like him."
"It's not about whether or not I'll like him. He'll never want me that way. And it's not worth the risk of things changing. When he got back in touch last winter, it felt like I'd found my favorite dress. I didn't realize how much I'd missed him until I heard his voice again. How good it felt just sitting next to him at dinner or during a movie." Her eyes get dreamy. "He's such a good friend. Overprotective, yeah, but he's sweet. And he makes me laugh. I can't lose that. Nothing would be worse than losing that."
"What if he started dating someone else?"