I’m done with the book. The end. Forever.
I’m attached to all my books. I love them in different ways. With some, it’s a trial. Sacrifice and suffering and tearing my hair out wondering why it isn’t working.
This book was the opposite. It was easy. It flowed.
I always felt like I knew Dean. It’s funny. My husband listens to all my books—he’s my audio proofer—and expresses his opinion with great enthusiasm. He hates Dean with a fiery passion (audio is currently in production, so we’ll have to wait for his final opinion).
The other day, we were talking about Hating You, Loving You and I pointed out that I’m the most like Dean. I’m constantly saying dirty things, teasing people, enjoying my role as the funny one. He didn’t want to admit it was true (insisted I’m like Dean without all the bad qualities), but, eventually, he agreed.
Dean has been one of my favorite characters. He lights up every page he’s on. When I need a hit of humor, I bring him into the scene, and he always delivers. I have to admit that my husband is right too. There are a lot of places where Dean and I differ. I’m not a flaming extrovert. I’m not the life of the party. I’m not constantly showing off my abs (maybe, if I had abs…).
But I get that urge to make people laugh. To shrug off shit that bothers you. To pretend you’re invulnerable. If no one knows you hurt, no one knows how to hurt you.
This was my first time writing an enemies to lovers book. Chloe and Dean are never enemies, exactly, more like rivals, but, it was still so much fun exploring that dynamic. I knew Dean needed a bad ass heroine, and Chloe really delivered. She’s tough as nails. Sharp and guarded, but willing to let her guard down. That’s where her strength really is, what real strength is—the willingness to be vulnerable.
It’s something I’ve gotten better at as I’ve gotten older, but it’s always a struggle.
It’s the sharp parts that are the most fun (in life and in books). Writing Dean and Chloe’s banter, watching her bite back, was pure joy. I love sharp, guarded characters. (If that isn’t obvious already). I love her determination and her fearlessness.
Cancer is a weird topic. It’s there in the popular culture, but it often feels like a concept more than an illness. Like it’s a way of exploring the idea of life and loss. I hope this didn’t feel like one of those “cancer books.” I watched both of my parents survive cancer (one very treatable, one incredibly aggressive). Most of my information comes from their experiences, and from mine. It’s not easy trying to soothe someone when you’re just as terrified as they are. I wanted to explore that element of illness—the way we all try, and sometimes fail, to hold each other up.
Though, I suppose, all my books are about the way we try and sometimes fail to help and understand each other.
I dedicated this book to my husband to tease him. (He really hates Dean). But also because he’s always holding me up. He’s exactly the person I want by my side when times are tough. If I ever have to go through illness, I want him to be the person there, holding my hand.
This book is for him. But it’s also for all the survivors out there. And for everyone who fought like hell and didn’t make it.
As always, thanks for reading. I hope I’ll see you soon for Emma and Hunter’s book, Breaking the Rules.
Love,
Crystal
Acknowledgements
My first thanks goes to my husband, for his support when I’m lost in bookland and for generally being the sun in my sky. Sweetheart, you’re better than all the broken bad boys in the world.
The second goes to my father, for insisting I go to the best film school in the country, everything else be damned. I wouldn’t love movies, writing, or storytelling half as much if not for all our afternoon trips to the bookstore and weekends at the movies. You’ve always been supportive of my goals, and that means the world to me.
A big shout out to all my beta readers. You helped give me the confidence to put out a book a little more heartbreaking than usual. And also to my ARC readers for helping spread the word to everyone else in the world.
A special thanks to my fellow pop-punk addict, Molle, for fangirling over music with me, for talking me through my business decisions, and for reminding me that loving my work matters as much as all the marketing money in the world.
Athena Wright, you are the best author friend a girl could ask for. Thank you for your feedback, for being my chat buddy, and for always being there to give me the perspective I need. And thank you for mocking me when I deserve it and telling me no when I need to hear it.
Thanks so much to my editor Marla, my designers Okay Creations and Tempting Illustrations, and to all my beta readers.
As always, my biggest thanks goes to my readers. Thank you for picking up Hating You, Loving You. I hope you’ll be back for Breaking the Rules (Emma and Hunter’s book), coming this fall.
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More books about the men of Inked Hearts are coming soon.
Emma and Hunter’s book is coming soon. Turn the page for a teaser!