Until Autumn

How is that even possible after just knowing the girl for a matter of days?

I try to put the imposing thoughts to the back of my mind as I walk through the maternity ward to try and find her. I don’t doubt that she’d be upset, and judging from the look on her face at the time, she had no idea what she’d done wrong. But I had to send her away. My patients come first no matter what.

All I know is that right now, the only thing important to me is making things right with her. The thought of Autumn hating me for sending her away kills me, but it’s also imperative to her training that she knows to always come prepared for any case that she’s going to stand in on. Where you’re dealing with newborn babies and emotional parents, no one can afford to make mistakes. The sooner she learns that, the better. I just hate that I’m the one who had to teach her that lesson so soon in her career.

I make my way down past the nurses' station and pass Patricia, who welcomes me with a warm smile, just as she always does. “How did it go, Dr. Mayson?” she questions, showing me a level of respect that she constantly fails to show anyone who comes below her on the food chain.

“All good as usual,” I say, still glancing up and down the halls. “Listen, have you seen Autumn around here anywhere? We need to have a word.”

Her brow raises, and a sinister grin stretches across her face assuming that I’m about to bust Autumn’s balls. I resist calling her out as, for once, her shitty need to constantly see others getting in trouble may actually work in my favor.

“Yes, some of the girls mentioned that she ran into one of the on-call rooms. Apparently, she looked quite distraught.”

Her words shoot straight through me, killing everything in their path, and all I can do is nod.

I walk away before I end up putting her in her place and go searching through all the on-call rooms. I get through three of them and accidentally wake one of the night doctors who ended up on a double shift after Dr. Harding failed to show up this morning.

I reach the fourth door, and instead of storming in, something has me coming to a stop. Hesitating a moment, I finally find the nerve to gently knock on the door. I hear shuffling around before the handle jiggles, and the anticipation of waiting to see her face becomes agonizing.

The door slowly peels back, and the second those big hazel eyes stare up at me, everything breaks. Mascara is smudged under her puffy eyes, and her face is splotchy and red from crying. My stomach twists with guilt. “Autumn …”

Her eyes drop from mine. “Go away,” she murmurs, putting aside our titles and professions, just leaving the two people that have felt things we shouldn’t be feeling.

The door closes before I get a second to say anything, and I listen as she drops back down onto the on-call bed.

My head falls against the door. Have I fucked this up before it’s even started? Is that even possible?

Fuck no. It’s not going to be like that between us. Not if I have anything to do with it.

I grab the door handle and push my way through to the on-call room to find Autumn sitting cross-legged on the bed with her face buried in her hands. My heart shatters. It’s one thing seeing her confused and upset before storming out of a room, but to see her misery and tears caused by my actions is something I never want to witness again.

She doesn’t glance up, but I know she senses me here, so I don’t bother clearing my throat or making any sounds to announce myself. I simply walk across the room and drop down on the bed beside her, keeping far enough away that I can’t just reach out and touch her.

“The words ‘go away’ aren’t in your vocabulary?” she grumbles, not bothering to look up.

A grin pulls at my lips, but I reel it back in, not wanting to make a joke of this moment. “To be honest, it’s really not a phrase that I’ve heard since I was seventeen and tormenting my little sister about her first high school boyfriend.”

“You’re a dick.”

I take a breath and look up at her, watching the way her silent tears track down her face. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It killed me to dismiss you like that, but I had to. You made an error, one that never would have happened had you been prepared, and so I did what any other doctor would have done to their student.”

Those big hazel eyes flash up to mine and pull at everything within my chest. “But that’s just the thing. I don’t understand. Help me out here, because I’m clearly missing something. What error? I did everything by the book. It was a perfect delivery.”