Oh, God, it hurts.
Sitting on the couch, laptop in her lap, she pressed a hand against her chest and tried to take a deep breath.
Knock, knock, knock.
Kristina frowned, then shifted everything off her lap and made for the door. Glancing down at herself, she decided her nightgown wasn’t too revealing, so she pulled open the door just a little.
Her stomach plunged to the floor.
Noah.
She’d half thought it would be Kate, who’d been on a non-stop Kristina-watch ever since Saturday night, stopping by, texting, and sending her funny links at regular intervals to make sure she was okay and try to cheer her up.
“What are you doing here?” Kristina finally asked.
His expression fell and he shifted his feet, making her notice the blue cooler bag dangling from his one hand. Oh. My. God. He did not bring her ice cream.
“Um, well, can I come in?” he asked.
She was a hundred percent certain neither of them had ever had to ask the other one to be allowed in, and it hurt to hear him say those words because it revealed just how messed up they were now.
It hurt even worse to say, “No
. Tell me why you’re here.”
He frowned, and the longer Kristina looked at him, the more she noticed that Noah…didn’t look good. Dark circles marred the skin beneath flat, bloodshot eyes. His cheeks appeared hollow. And holy crap, even with a T-shirt and jeans on she would’ve sworn he’d lost weight since last weekend. Again.
“I wanted to talk to you.” He shrugged. “Maybe hang out.”
Her jaw dropped. “Hang out?”
“Yeah.” He held up the cooler. “Reverse dinner?”
“Noah—”
“Please, Kristina,” he said, stepping closer, close enough that all that separated them was the invisible plane where the door would be if she shut it. “At least let me apologize.”
Almost sure that Kristina was going to regret it, she nodded, opened the door wider, and stepped out of Noah’s way. He came in and dropped the cooler on the table, then turned toward her. His gaze raked over her nightgown, and Kristina hated the heat that rushed over her skin in its wake. But that reaction proved that her decision about their relationship had been the right one.
Noah held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For so many things, Kristina. For the way I talked to you. For the way I’ve been treating you, all the way back to when I came home. I’ve just felt so bad about myself that I didn’t want you to see it. But that’s no excuse, I know.” He stepped closer, sending Kristina’s heart into a sprint. “And I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, for not responding better to what you had to say.”
She frowned. For not responding better to what she had to say? Like what she’d said was just any old thing? Whatever.
“Okay, I accept your apology,” she managed.
Fighting wouldn’t serve any purpose, and the easier she made this for him the faster he would leave. At least, that’s what she told herself.
Relief filled his expression, smoothing out the furrowed wrinkles on his forehead. He came toward her, arms lifted like he was going to hug her.
Kristina stepped back and raised a hand. “Don’t. Please.” She couldn’t let him touch her because she didn’t think she’d be strong enough if he made it in to something more.
Noah dragged a hand through his hair. “Oh. Okay. Sure. Well, I brought your favorites.” He started for the kitchen. “I’ll grab some spoons and bowls.”
What? “Noah, stop.” She hugged herself. “What do you think is happening here right now?”
His brow furrowed again and he shrugged. “I, uh, thought we could hang out, eat ice cream, maybe grab dinner. You know, like old times.”
Those words broke her heart. They really freaking did. He didn’t get it, did he?