“I appreciate that,” she said, her belly doing a little flip. Because she wasn’t sure if she believed him after their fight—or whatever it had been—on Saturday night. Or maybe he did mean it because Saturday just hadn’t been that big of a deal to him? Shayna really didn’t know. “But it’s obviously going to take a while, so I figured I shouldn’t wait until the very last second.”
Billy nodded as he turned off the burner and set the pan aside. He scooped out a portion of rice for each of them and topped it with the stir fry. “Did you go alone, Shay?” he asked as he settled a plate in front of her.
She moved her purse from the other chair to make room for him and dropped it to the floor. “Yeah. I mean, I was meeting with women so it seemed okay.”
He sat and dug into his first bite. “I know it’s none of my business, but I think you should take someone with you.”
“Really?” No doubt, it would be more fun to do with someone, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t handle herself.
He threw her a look that was almost hilariously identical to one Ryan might’ve given her. Typical overprotective Rangers.
She shrugged as she savored how perfectly he’d sautéed the vegetables. Sexy and a good cook. It was a killer combination. To say nothing of the fact that he was, without question, also a trained killer. Maybe that shouldn’t be hot, but it was in a heroic soldier kinda way.
She glanced at him and caught him licking sauce off his lip, which reminded her of what else he was good at doing…
Because, dear God, that man’s mouth was lethal.
He frowned at the way she was looking at him, and she ducked her chin. “Well, no worries, I’m being careful. I even have pepper spray in my purse—a gift from Ryan.”
“Which is great if you have time to fish it out from the bottom of your bag or unless someone jumps you from behind,” he said, eyebrow arched.
She made a face at him. “Well, thanks, numbnuts, I wasn’t worried about that before.”
“Sorry, I’m not trying to freak you out, but I’m kinda wired to think through and prepare for the worst-case scenario.”
She softened at that because of course he was. “You don’t have to be sorry. And it would be fun to have a wingman to look with. But I don’t really know that many people here yet. And I hate to feel like I’m impos—”
“Seriously?”
His tone made her look at him again, and his expression called all kinds of bullshit on her. “What’s that for?”
His eyebrow arched higher. “I told you I’d help you with whatever you needed.”
Her belly went on a loop-the-loop. “You’re doing enough.”
“Shayna.”
“What? I wasn’t going to bother you after…” She couldn’t figure out the best way to finish the thought, so she let her words trail off. She didn’t need to spell it out for him to know what she was talking about.
“Fuck.” He dropped his fork noisily against his plate. Shayna’s heart tripped into a sprint. “This was why I shouldn’t have started something with you. Because I was an asshole and now you’re too uncomfortable with me to ask for what you need. And my helping you getting settled in here was the whole point of this arrangement.” He put a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry, Shayna. I know you’re pissed and you have every right to be, but—”
“Wait. What?” She blinked at him as she struggled to take in everything he’d said and figure out her reaction to all of it. “That’s not…I’m not mad at you. I thought you were mad at me. And that you had every right to be.”
His whole handsome face slid into a frown. “Why the hell would I be mad at you?”
“You’re not?”
“No. Jesus. I was a pushy, invasive asshole.”
Relief flooded through Shayna so hard and so fast that she grasped the edge of the counter. “I thought you were disappointed in me for going back on my word and running away.”
Billy shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t the right time to bring any of that up.”
“Oh,” she said, a burning sensation suddenly tingling against the backs of her eyes. He wasn’t mad at her. Wow. Okay. But why was it impacting her this way?
She glanced down at her plate again, blinking fast to try to stem the tears before they started. And then the answer smacked her in the face—this emotional letdown was because of how scared she’d been to lose Billy from her life altogether. Because she’d already had quite enough loss in her life as it was.
&nbs