Heading back inside, Boone pointed at Jesse. “We’re on with AWE in fifteen.”
“Roger that,” he said. And then his gaze was back on her.
But Tara kept her eyes on her work. Hosing down Jud’s suit. Then her own. Hanging them up. Waxing their zippers. She performed each new task almost mechanically, but she gave them all her focus. Because she’d rather focus on them than the other things she was going to have to confront sooner or later.
Finally, she moved to the computer to complete Jud’s dive profile and enter one for herself.
Jesse appeared at her side. “How are you doing?” His voice was low, serious, concerned.
“Don’t,” she said. Because she couldn’t answer him. Not yet.
He squeezed her shoulder. “I’m here, Tara.”
A quick nod. Then he was gone. Which was one less distraction keeping her from facing the tsunami of emotions cresting inside her.
Chapter 11
Approaching the Ocean City inlet meant it would be only fifteen minutes until they’d be docked. And Jesse hadn’t seen Tara once since he’d left her on the deck of the GD.
“Don’t.”
That one word wouldn’t stop echoing in his head. Because it was just…off. Wrong. Nothing like the Tara he’d come to know. Ever since that exchange, intuition had unleashed prickles up and down his spine. His gut told him she wasn’t okay.
Not physically harmed, no. But not all injuries were visible. He knew that as well as anyone.
The problem was, he couldn’t think of a good explanation for going to check on her, not when they’d played it that they’d been strangers that first day. He didn’t think she’d appreciate him acting in any way that might reveal anything about their real relationship…
Whatever the hell it actually was, Jesse didn’t know. He just knew that watching her jump into the roiling ocean to dive to an accident site in sixty-foot waters had been damn hard to do. Not because he didn’t think she could handle it. Not because she wasn’t competent. Not because she wasn’t capable of rescue and recovery. But because she meant more to him than just a colleague.
How much more, he didn’t know.
Bullshit, a little voice in his head said.
Fine. More than a friend, even.
It was almost more than he could believe—that he’d developed such a strong connection when he’d always half wondered if there was something wrong with himself on that score. He hadn’t been close with his dad, and as he’d disappointed his father more and more during high school, it’d impacted his relationship with his mother and his sister, Willa. As a result, he barely knew his nine-year-old nephew, Alex.
As an adult, he’d had plenty of friendships but only a handful of relationships that’d been serious or long enough to elevate to the status of girlfriend.
Yet, here he was, fighting the magnetic pull that apparently every cell in his body felt to go check on Tara. Take her in his arms and make them both feel better. And then figure out how to convince her that they had to give more a shot.
But he didn’t do any of that.
Just as they motored into the marina, Tara appeared on deck. Showered. Dressed. Hair in a loose braid. She chatted with George, checked on Jud, and generally acted normal. But Jesse’s gut wasn’t buying it. Her normally animated face appeared almost a mask of expected expressions. Her tone wasn’t quite right. Her eyes were flat, almost distant. How he could read her so well so fast he wasn’t sure, but Jesse didn’t think he was wrong.
They got the Going Deep moored and then Boone gathered them on the deck, making it easier to include Jud, who could only navigate the ladder to the bridge with some difficulty. The sea had taken a bite out of the guy today, but he was still sitting there laughing and joking around about how his foot had turned into an eggplant emoji, har har. He’d made every single one of his teammates laugh over it, clearly proving his expertise at using humor to defuse a stressful situation.
Jesse had to respect that.
Boone stood with his hands on his hips, the day’s crisis still clearly weighing on the man’s shoulders. “Listen, gang, after today, I think you all deserve a bit of a respite. So unless there are any objections, I’d like to treat everyone to dinner and put y’all up in the Holiday Inn for the night. We can leave at first light, but I think that would be better than trying to get home after the day we had.”
Appreciative words rose up from the group.
Boone cleared his throat. “I want to apologize for not playing today more conservatively—”
“Boone, no,” Jud interrupted. “I was advocating for pushing forward today more than anyone. And besides that, it could’ve been that cable’s time to go even if the weather had been fine.”
“Agreed,” Jesse said. The others all felt the same, including Tara, who…Jesse did a doubletake. Because she was hugging herself so hard that her knuckles had gone white.