Live where you fear to live, Dani.
Now she knew why she was just remembering her granny’s words after so very long. There were two things she’d most feared for all these years. First, reading Anthony’s words. And second, the possibility of falling in love again—and of losing that love. And both of those fears were waiting to be faced on the other side of her bedroom door.
It didn’t matter that the anniversary was over. It was time to read Anthony’s letter. More than that, she couldn’t wait to see what he’d written. But first there was Sean.
Taking a deep breath, she opened her bedroom door and went back out to the living room. She found Sean sitting on the couch. He looked up at her, eyes wide, head shaking. “I didn’t mean it,” he said.
Her gaze flashed down to his hand, to Anthony’s envelope, which was torn open, the lined paper inside partly sticking out. She could hardly believe what she was seeing. She’d waited literal years to open this letter, and here he’d gone and done it. Rage absolutely roared through her. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she said, swiping it from his hand. “This was private. You had no fucking right.”
Sean rose, palms raised. “I didn’t mean to, Dani. I swear. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t believe you. You come over here uninvited in the middle of the night and…and what?” she sputtered. “You just thought you’d read something addressed to someone else?”
“Dani, I—”
“I barely know what to say to you right now, Riddick!”
He stepped closer and reached out for her. “Daniela—”
Dani reared back. “No,” she said, backing away even further. “You have no idea what you’ve done. You just came Kool-Aid-man-ing into my life, and—” Shaking her head, she said, “You know what? I can’t do this right now. My brain is literally on fire I’m so angry at you. I need you to go.”
His expression went stony, and he gave a single nod. “If that’s what you want.”
She crossed her arms, trying to hold herself together. “It is.”
Another nod. He made for the door. It seemed odd that someone so big could move so quietly, but he didn’t make a sound until he put his hand on the doorknob. “For the record,” he said in a low, rough voice. “I didn’t read it.”
“O-okay,” she whispered, swiping at a single tear suddenly spilling from the corner of her eye.
He left.
And Dani was alone. Alone this time of her own making.
She felt like shit before he’d even fully closed the door, but she was so raw that she didn’t know what to do.
Live where you fear to live, Dani.
One fear she held in her hand. The other was walking down the hall outside of her apartment. She looked down at the letter and saw the slant of Anthony’s handwriting on the ruled pieces of loose-leaf paper.
She’d possibly never felt more torn in her whole life.
Dani bolted to the door. Wrenched it open. Stepped out into the hall. Sean was already gone. A rock dropped into her gut. She debated calling him to come back, but maybe this was fate saying to finish one book before she started another.
So even though the pull to go after Sean remained, she returned to the couch, sat with her legs tucked under her, and slid the letter out of the ruined envelope. Unfolding it made her heart trip into a sprint, and then all there was to do was read it.
Dear Daniela,
Just in case I don’t make it, I want you to know that you were everything I wanted and everything I could’ve ever asked for in a wife, a best friend, and a partner. I can’t believe that I was lucky enough to turn your head in the first place—that was pretty near to a damn miracle. I can still picture you that very first time I ever saw you. Black hair shining in the sun while you were laying on a blanket in the Commons reading a book. I walked past three times until you finally looked up and I got your attention. I thought I’d been all stealthy about it and then you were like, how many more times are you going to circle by before you say hello? Do you remember that? That I’ve gotten to spend the last eight years with you, both of us sharing so many of the same passions and ideals, that’s just been a dream, Daniela.
I want you to know that I am so proud of you. And if you ever need proof of that, just ask my guys how often I talk about you! I don’t even have to, of course, because they all know your bad-ass reputation. But if you have any lingering worries about how I feel about your MEDEVAC work, put them aside now. Of course I worry. I can’t stop that because I love you. But, Daniela, I see it. You were made to do that work. And I get to stand back and say, that bad-ass woman is mine.