Oops, I've Fallen

“She’s a thieving witch!”

“I know,” I console with a nod. “I know.”

“Then why didn’t you let me have at her? The people in there deserve to know who they’re dealing with!”

I laugh a little, and she doesn’t take it kindly. Fuck.

I backtrack, holding my hands up in my defense. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, Carly. It’s clear Betty’s big head has gotten away from her. But if you don’t think the people in there notice, I think you’re kidding yourself. Look at the old people across from us tonight. We didn’t think they were listening, but they were. They caught it all. And I guarantee it’s the same for every single person in there with Betty. They know how she is. And one day, it’ll all shake out in the Sunny Creek karma train.”

“But I want her to have karma now!” she shouts, and I can’t help but laugh, grabbing her hand and squeezing.

“I know. But how about…for now…we go for a walk and calm down. And then, when cool heads return, we can figure out a scheme to give Betty the kind of karma she deserves and then some. Deal?”

She scowls, but after ten seconds of narrowed eyes and mental jiujitsu, she agrees. “Fine. But I’m walking fast, and I’m walking angrily. If you want to keep up, you’re going to have to churn those fucking legs, you got me?”

I smile and sigh.

Oh, Carly Page, it’s really beginning to feel like you’re the one who’s got me.

Carly

I walk as fast as physically possible without breaking out into a run. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. My strides are long, and my arms swish back and forth at my sides like I’m a tracksuit-wearing mall walker trying to get to Yankee Candle on Black Friday.

I don’t know what it is about Betty Matthews that grinds my gears, but I really don’t like the woman.

You know what, I actually do know what it is—that broad is the bingo-cheating, trash-can-obsessed, called-my-momma-a-slut bully of Sunny Creek.

And don’t even get me started on her rules.

She makes all these stupid fucking rules for everyone else, but when it comes to herself, she can do whatever she wants. I rarely follow anything revolving around politics, but it seems to me, Betty is on the same level as every lying, cheating, scummy politician that claims to want what’s best for the people, when in reality, she just wants what’s best for herself.

“You doing okay over there?” Ryan asks, and I glance to my right to find that he’s still keeping up with me.

“Not really,” I spit. “But I know I would feel a lot better if you wouldn’t have made me leave the clubhouse before I got the chance to shove Betty’s bingo card down her throat.”

He smirks at that. “So, you still think I should’ve let you kick an old lady’s ass?”

“Yes,” I mutter, but then, when a visual of me tackling Betty Matthews to the ground pops into my head, I crinkle up my nose and sigh. “Okay, fine. No. I’m glad you held me back from getting into a brawl. Although, I have to say, since I actually took the time to do my makeup tonight, my mug shot would’ve looked hella fierce.”

Soft chuckles leave his lips and drift into the evening air. “Which is exactly what everyone is concerned about when they get arrested for assault. Not finding a good lawyer or, you know, avoiding jail time. But the quality of their mug shot.”

“Hey, a bad mug shot will stay on the internet forever.”

“And an assault record?” he questions, and the teasing tone of his voice is my undoing.

“Stop making sense, Ryan!” I laugh and reach out an arm to playfully shove his shoulder. “Now is not the time for rationality. Now is the time to talk in nonsense circles and still think it’s perfectly normal to get into a fight with a senior citizen over a game of bingo.”

“Oh. Right,” he responds, and his blue eyes flash with amusement. “My bad. I guess you could say I’m kind of new at this.”

A few moments later, he holds out a hand to stop our momentum until we come to a stop beneath a streetlamp. “You know what?” he questions, but it’s rhetorical. “I think we need to go back.”

I tilt my head to the side. “Huh? Did you forget something?”

“No.” He shakes his head, gently grabs both of my shoulders, and turns my body to face his. “But we need to go back there so you can kick Betty’s ass. Actually, we both need to kick her ass. It’s high time that cheating old lady gets hers, you know what I’m sayin’?”

A shocked laugh jumps from my throat. “What?”

“I hope that woman has a Life Alert bracelet because it’s go time, Carly. You want to throw the first punch, or should I?”