Oops, I've Fallen

Stella nods. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Well…” I pause and glance over my shoulder when my taxi driver shuts the trunk, signaling that my suitcase is now packed away in his car. “I guess I better go.”

My mom pouts. “I hate this.”

“It’s going to be okay,” I reassure her and give her another hug. “I’ll see you in a month, and in the meantime, I’m sure you’ll have wedding plans and Sal to keep you busy.”

She smiles softly at that. “That’s true, but I wish you could be here to help me.”

“I’m pretty sure between you and Sal and all your Sunny Creek friends, you’ll have a blast planning your big day,” I comment, and she wipes away a lone tear that slips down her cheek. “Aw, don’t be sad, Mom. You have every reason to be excited.”

She sniffles a little. “You’ll FaceTime me every day, right?”

“Promise,” I answer. “I’ll even try to join your TikTok Lives when I’m not busy at the shop.”

“Really?” she asks, her face brightening with excitement.

“I swear.”

“I’m holding you to that, Car.”

“Do,” I say, and the exchange reminds me so much of previous conversations I’ve had with Ryan that it makes my chest ache in discomfort.

I can’t stop myself from looking across the lawn to his dad’s house.

I know he’s already gone. His flight was earlier than mine.

And I know all day yesterday he tried to talk to me, but I was adamant on keeping my distance, making up a million excuses not to be able to meet up and talk in private.

It was pathetic. And I hate myself for it.

But I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and it’s like I don’t know how to cope.

Our situation is insane—the distance and our parents getting freaking married. Our lives are in completely different cities, and besides vaguely admitting our feelings for each other, we never truly established that we were in a relationship or that we wanted to try to make the long-distance work.

Everything is just hanging out in fucking limbo.

It sucks.

“Did you get to say goodbye to Ryan before he left?” my mom asks, pulling my attention back to her.

I shake my head. “No, I think his flight was pretty early.”

“That’s a shame.” She searches my face for answers I don’t have. And the longer she looks at me, the more I start to feel like maybe she knows a lot more than she’s let on.

“Yeah,” I mutter and reach out to hug her again when the taxi driver honks his horn at me. “Well, I better go if I want to make it to the airport on time. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, sweetie,” she says and kisses my forehead. “Call me when you land, okay?”

“I will,” I agree over my shoulder as I head to the taxi and get in the back seat.

Once I shut the door, I let the impatient cabbie know to take me to the airport, and it’s not too much longer before the vision of mother standing in the driveway is just a small blip in the rearview mirror.

Goodbye, Sunny Creek. See you in a few weeks.

The drive feels long, and besides the soft sounds of a local radio station, it’s quiet.

Almost too quiet.

But I have no desire to make conversation with Paulie the cab driver.

It’s nothing against him; it’s just that my current forlorn mood doesn’t exactly make for great conversation.

Thankfully, he doesn’t appear too bothered by it, and when I spot the exit sign for the airport, a mix of temporary relief and sadness roll around in my belly. Both emotions battling it out to see who’s stronger.

Paulie veers right off the exit, and I stare out the window, watching palm trees pass by at a rapid pace.

My phone chimes from my purse, and when I pull it out to check the screen, my stomach drops and my hands shake and my heart starts to beat at a rapid pace.

Ryan: I hate that I didn’t get to say goodbye to you before I left. I tried, but you weren’t at your mom’s. I guess you were out running errands or something.

Me: Yeah. Sorry about that. Just had a lot to get done.

Truthfully, besides avoidance, I had nothing to get done.

Ryan: I really wish we could’ve talked.

Gah. Me too.

Problem is, apparently, I’m too much of a coward.

Me: Me too.

Ryan: I’m going to miss you.

Tears prick my eyes.

Me: I’m going to miss you too.

Like an idiot, I can’t just leave it at that.

Which is the truth. No matter how weird our situation is, I’m going to miss him like crazy. My feelings for him haven’t changed.

Instead, I send another message that waters down the truth of it.

Me: But I’ll see you in a few weeks at the wedding, okay?

Text bubbles jump around for what feels like forever, but eventually, he responds with one simple word.