Pia hiccupped and straightened, taking a step back. “No, it’s worse.”
Tamara had obviously concluded that Pia was upset because something had gone wrong with Lucy’s engagement party, Pia realized. Tamara had no idea about Hawk’s role.
When she’d told Tamara and Belinda that she’d be traveling to England in order to help with Lucy’s engagement party, she’d left out that Hawk himself had ex
tended an invitation to visit Silderly Park.
Tamara put an arm around her shoulders. “Come into the drawing room with me. We can be cozy there, and you can tell me all about it. I was about to have a light snack brought in.”
As a member of the household staff appeared from the back of the house, Tamara added, “Haines, could you please arrange to have Pia’s bags moved from her car to the Green and Gold Bedroom? Thank you.”
“Of course,” Haines acknowledged with an inclination of the head as they passed him.
Pia let Tamara guide her through the palatial house, Sawyer’s ancestral family seat, until they reached a large room with French doors overlooking the back lawn and gardens. Despite the masterpieces framed on the walls, the room was warm and inviting.
Pia sat with Tamara on a brocade settee in front of a large fireplace.
Tamara handed her a tissue, and Pia made use of it to compose herself.
“Now,” Tamara said encouragingly, “I’m sure this is nothing that you can’t put behind you.”
Pia bit her lip. If only Tamara knew.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve been trying to put Hawk behind me for three years.”
Tamara’s eyebrows lifted. “Then all this emotion isn’t because something went wrong with Lucy’s engagement party?”
“Oh, something went wrong, all right. I found out Hawk had a fiancée waiting in the wings.”
“Oh, Pia.”
With some effort, Pia outlined what had happened at Silderly Park—from Michelene’s unexpected arrival to what had transpired the night before at Lucy’s party.
When she finished, she looked at Tamara beseechingly.
“How could I have been so stupid again?” she asked in an agonized voice. “How could I let myself become vulnerable to him once more?”
“You let yourself become susceptible to Hawk’s charms…”
Tamara trailed off, and though she’d spoken without inflection, she seemed to be trying to guess at what Pia was really saying.
Pia sighed. Why not come out with the whole bald-faced truth?
She hadn’t divulged details to Tamara and Belinda of her recent and evolving relationship with Hawk. She knew they would have tried to dissuade her from any deeper involvement—and certainly from trying to turn the tables in a high-stakes game with a seasoned player like Hawk.
“It’s worse,” Pia said succinctly. “I slept with him.”
Tamara looked surprised, though not as caught unawares as Pia would have expected. Still, her friend didn’t say anything.
“After the first time I slept with him, he disappeared for three years,” Pia said, the words tumbling out of her. “This time, we sleep together, and then I discover he’s nearly engaged to another woman!”
“Oh, Pia,” Tamara said. “I had no idea, believe me. If I’d known, of course I would have said something.”
Tamara frowned. “I wonder why Sawyer didn’t say anything. He and Hawk are friends. He must have had at least some inkling about an engagement—”
Pia shrugged. “Perhaps Sawyer had no idea that a warning was necessary. I mean, Hawk and I had a past but no present. And now, we definitely have no future…”
Pia felt a wave of pain wash over her. Had she started hoping for a future with Hawk? How much of her hurt was due to the fact that she really hadn’t wanted the relationship to end, and how much due to the way she’d shockingly found out that it was over—because there was another woman?