I have to go, he said, unwilling to look at her and be tempted into more idiocy in one night. He moved to the far edge of the bed and swung his feet down onto the floor. He grabbed his shirt and yanked it over his head. If you insist on going with me to Berlin, be ready tomorrow night. We leave promptly at dusk.
Chapter Fourteen
The wait until the following evening seemed unending to Elise. She'd gotten dressed and crept out of Tegan's quarters in absolute shame immediately after he left her there, somehow managing to find her way to the room Gabrielle had prepared for her elsewhere in the compound without being seen. Once inside the comfortable suite, she had holed up like a hermit, feigning a headache so that she could take her meals in privacy and not have to face scrutiny from the other women--or, God forbid, any of the warriors--for anything they may know about what had transpired between Tegan and her.
Not that Tegan would have spoken of what they'd done.
She had most certainly disgusted him, if not by her use of him as her blood Host, then most definitely by her humiliatingly base reaction during the event. She could hardly stand to think on it now, and she didn't suppose an apology to Tegan would be enough to excuse her behavior.
Supposing he would even give her a chance to attempt one.
In the nearly twenty hours that he'd been gone, it didn't appear that anyone had heard from him at all. He hadn't said where he was going--just put on his clothes and a pair of black combat boots, then left Elise alone in his quarters like he couldn't bear to be near her for another second. Understandable, of course. She had embarrassed them both.
Part of her considered abandoning the idea of going with him to Berlin--to save what was left of her pride, if nothing else. But she had already taken things this far, and it was a little late to turn back now.
She could feel Tegan's blood inside her, the low hum of power that beat in her temples and in each of her pulse points. Five years without Breed blood in her body had sapped her of more than she realized, but drinking from Tegan was a revelation. She felt him flowing through her muscles, bones, and cells, giving her a vitality she had almost forgotten was possible. Even her senses were tuning up, becoming more acute, just after that one taste from the warrior's Gen One veins.
And because of that blood connection to him, she felt the precise moment when Tegan entered the compound. He was there, somewhere, his arrival like a light blinking on in a shadowed corner of her mind.
This was the connection she could never break with him now--this bone-deep awareness of him. She would always be drawn to Tegan, conscious of him on an elemental level, until the day that one or the other of them died.
God, what had she done? Elise paced the living room of her guest quarters, anxious now that the time was coming that she would be leaving with Tegan for Berlin. Maybe she should venture out into the compound to find him and make sure that he didn't intend to depart without her. Maybe she should wait for him to come to her?
She heaved a sigh and started for the door--
At the very second a knock sounded on the other side.
It wasn't Tegan; her senses told her that much. Elise opened the door and was stunned to find a familiar face outside.
Oh. She glanced down, surprised and shamed. Hello, Sterling.
She couldn't look at him now, especially when he was standing there with genuine concern in his eyes.
I heard you weren't feeling well. Savannah said you've been in here alone all day, so I...I wanted to check and make sure you're all right.
Elise nodded. I'm fine. Just a headache. To be honest, I needed some time alone.
Of course. Sterling's voice was schooled, almost awkwardly so. He let a long moment pass before he spoke again. I cannot believe what he did to you in the lab, why he felt the need to say what he did--
No, don't. Don't feel sorry for me. There is no need, Sterling.
He exhaled sharply, anger radiating from his stiff stance in the doorway. Tegan was way out of line. He had no right to speak to you like that. I don't expect him to have honor enough to apologize for what he subjected you to, so I've come to do it for him.
You don't have to, she said, looking up into those familiar, flinty blue eyes. Yes, I do, he insisted. And not just for Tegan's behavior, but for my own as well. Ah, Christ, Elise. What happened to Camden that night outside the Darkhaven...I'm so sorry. I'm so damned sorry for everything that happened. If I could have traded places with him--if it could have been me who'd gone Rogue...me in front of that gun when the trigger was pulled...
I know. She reached out to her brother-in- law, and gently squeezed his muscled forearm. I'm sorry too.
He gave her a grim look, tried to dismiss her regret with a stiff shake of his head.
But she couldn't let the rest go unsaid now.
Yes, hear me out, please. I blamed you for Camden's death, Sterling, and that was wrong of me. You did everything you could to save him. I know what it cost you. I am the one owing an apology. You felt responsible for him...for me...and I let you shoulder that burden when I shouldn't have. It wasn't fair to you.
Something tender moved across his features. You were never a burden.
Not yours, certainly, she said, as gentle as she could be. It was wrong of me that I never pointed that fact out to you. I should have made sure you understood how I felt.
He went rigid at the words, his jaw going tight.