"Bloodlust," Lucan replied. The word fell hard into the silence of the SUV. "It's ah... it's a problem for me. Has been for a long while. I'm dealing with it, but there are times..." He dropped his chin, stared at the unlit floor of the vehicle. "I don't know if I can beat it. Maybe, with Gabrielle at my side, I might stand a chance. I'm going to fight it like hell, but if it gets worse - "
Gideon spat a vivid obscenity. "Ain't gonna happen, Lucan. Of all of us sitting here, you're the strongest. Always have been. Nothing's gonna pull you down."
Lucan shook his head. "I can't pretend to be the one always in control anymore. I'm tired. I'm not invincible. After nine hundred years of living the lie, it took Gabrielle less than two weeks to tear my mask off. She's forced me to see myself as I truly am. I don't like a lot of what I see, but I want to be better... for her."
Niko scowled. "Damn, Lucan. You talking about love here?"
"Yeah," he said solemnly. "I am. I love her. Which is why I need to ask something of you. All of you."
Gideon nodded. "Name it."
"If things get bad with me - sometime soon, or down the road - I need to know that I can count on you guys to have my back. You see me lose it to Bloodlust, if you think I'm going to turn... I've got to have your word that you'll take me out."
"What?" Dante recoiled. "You can't ask that of us, man."
"Listen to me." He wasn't accustomed to begging. The plea was like gravel in his throat, but he needed to spit it out. He was tired of carrying the burden alone. And the very last thing he ever wanted was to fear that in his weakness he might do anything to harm Gabrielle. "I need to hear you swear it. Each of you. Promise me."
"Shit," Dante said, gaping at him. Finally, he nodded gravely. "Yeah. Okay. You're fucking crazy, but okay."
Gideon shook his head, then held out his fist and knocked his knuckles against Lucan's. "If that's what you want, you got it. I swear to you, Lucan."
Niko voiced his agreement, too. "That day will never come, but if it does, I know you'd do the same for any one of us. So, hell yeah, you have my word."
Which left Tegan, sitting stoically in the backseat.
"What about you, T?" Lucan said, pivoting to meet the warrior's flat green stare. "Can I count on you in this?"
Tegan held him in a long, contemplative silence. "Sure, man. What the fuck, whatever you say. You turn, and I'll be first in line to take you out."
Lucan nodded, satisfied as he looked around at the sober stares of his brethren.
"Jesus," Dante interjected when the heavy quiet in the vehicle seemed endless. "All this touchy feely is making me itchy to kill something. How about we quit jerking each other off and go blow the roof off this mutha?"
Lucan returned the vampire's cocky grin. "Let's do it."
The five Breed warriors in head-to-toe black poured out of the SUV as a unit, then began the stealthy approach toward the asylum on the other side of the moonlit trees.
Chapter Thirty-one
Come on, come on. Open, damn it!"
Gabrielle sat behind the wheel of a black BMW coupe, waiting impatiently for the massive gate at the compound's estate entrance to slide open and let her out. She hated that she'd been forced to take the car from the fleet without permission, but after what had happened with Lucan, she was desperate to get away. Since the entire grounds were circled with high-voltage fencing, that left just one alternative.
She'd figure out some way to return the Beemer once she was home.
Once she was back where she truly belonged.
She had given all she could to Lucan tonight, but it wasn't enough. She had been prepared for him to push and resist her attempts to love him, but there was nothing she could do if he shut her out. As he had tonight.
She had given him her blood, her body, and her heart, and he had rejected her.
She was all out of energy now.
All out of fight.
If he was so determined to be alone, then who was she to force him into changing? If he wanted to crash and burn, she sure as hell didn't intend to stand around waiting to see it happen.
She was going home.