"Like hell you will." His hands were gruff as he turned her around to face him. His eyes glittered with sparks of amber, and an emotion that looked remarkably like fear, even in the darkness. "You're not going anywhere near Fabien without me." He stroked her brow, his fierce eyes burning into her. "We're in this together, Renata. You know that, right? You know that you can trust me?" She stared into Nikolai's face and felt a well of emotion begin to rise up within her, felt it rise over her like a swamping wave she couldn't hold back if she tried. Tears stung her eyes, then filled them. Before she could stop the flood, she was weeping as though a dam had burst inside her and all the hurts she'd ever felt - all the pain and emptiness of her entire existence - came rushing out of her in great, heaving sobs.
Nikolai wrapped his strong arms around her and held her close. He didn't try to make her tears stop. He didn't feed her soft lies to make her feel better, or give her false promises to cushion her despair. He just held her.
Held her, and let her feel that she was understood. That she was not alone, and that maybe, in some small way, she might be worthy of being loved.
He picked her up, lifting her into his arms, and began to carry her away from the bullet -riddled barn. "Let's find you someplace to rest for a while," he said, his soothing voice rumbling in his chest, vibrating against her as she clung to him. "I can't go back into the lodge, Nikolai. I won't stay in there."
"I know," he murmured, bringing her deeper into the woods. "I have another idea."
He set her down in a leaf-strewn alcove between two towering pines. Renata didn't know what to expect, but she never would have imagined what she witnessed in those next moments.
Nikolai knelt down near her and spread his arms wide, his chin lowered, his immense, muscled body held in a study of quiet concentration. Renata felt the energy around them crackle. She smelled rich, fertile earth, like the forest after a rainstorm. A warm breeze tickled her nape as Nikolai touched his fingertips to the ground on either side of him.>Niko lifted her chin and couldn't keep from stroking the delicate line of her cheek. "All the more reason to hang out here for a while."
She drew away from him, stubborn with determination. "All the more reason to keep going before the reverb hits. I'll rest after we have Mira." She pivoted around and started walking to the vehicle. "Who's driving - you or me?"
"Hey," he said, catching her hand before she could get very far. He walked up to her and wrapped his arm around the small of her back, easing her into his embrace.
God, she was so beautiful. Any idiot could appreciate the fragile, feminine perfection of her face: the pale, almond-shaped eyes that glittered like moonstones beneath the inky fringe of her lashes; the impish nose and lush, sexy mouth; the milky skin that looked like flawless velvet against the ebony gloss of her hair. Renata's physical beauty was stunning, but it was her courage - her unshakable honor - that really did Niko in.
Somehow, in the short time they'd been forced together, Renata had become a true partner to him. He valued her, trusted her, as much as he did any of his brethren in the Order.
"Hey," he repeated, quieter now, staring into her brave, beautiful face and awed all over again by this extraordinary woman who was proving to be such a vital ally to him. "We made a pretty good team back there, didn't we."
"I was scared as hell, Nikolai," she confessed softly. "They came at us so quickly. I should have reacted faster. I should have - "
"You were amazing." He smoothed an errant wisp of hair from her face and hooked it behind her ear. "You are amazing, Renata, and I'm damned glad to know that I've got you at my back."
She gave him a small, almost shy smile. "Same here."
Maybe it wasn't the ideal time for him to want to kiss her, standing in a godforsaken stretch of backcountry, a trail of blood and death behind them and more of the same sure to be waiting down the line before this journey was over. But all Nikolai wanted to do right now - what he needed, here and now, this very moment - was to feel Renata's lips pressed against his.
He gave in to the urge, leaning in and taking her mouth in a tender, unhurried kiss. Her arms went around him, tentatively at first, but her hands were warm and giving as she stroked his back and held him to her, even after their kiss had ended and she laid her cheek against his chest.
When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "Are we going to find her, Nikolai?"
He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "Yes, we are."
"Do you think she's okay?" His hesitation was brief, but long enough that it brought Renata out of his arms. She frowned, her eyes dimming with hurt. "Oh, my God...you don't believe she is. I can feel your doubt, Nikolai. You think something's happened to Mira."
"It's the blood bond you feel," he said, not even close to a denial of what Renata had read so accurately in him.
She was backing away now, her feet shuffling in the dark grass as she moved toward the SUV. Her face had taken on a stricken look. "We have to go now. We have to find Lex and force him to tell us where she is!"
"Renata, I still think you should wait here awhile and rest. If the reverb hits you - "
"Fuck the reverb!" she cried, tossing her head in mounting panic. "I'm going to Yakut's place. You can either ride along or stay behind, but I'm leaving right fucking now."
He could have stopped her.
If he'd wanted to, he could have been on her faster than she could track him, physically preventing her from taking another step toward the vehicle. He could have tranced her with a simple brush of his hand over her face and forced her to wait out the pain that would probably wipe her out completely not long after they reached the lodge.
He could have held her back in any number of ways, but instead he circled around to the driver's side of the black Humvee before she got there and blocked her entry with his body.
"I'll drive," he said, giving her no chance to argue. "You're shotgun."
Renata stared at him for a second, then walked over and climbed into the passenger seat.
They found their way back to the road and drove the short distance to Yakut's wooded property in silence. Niko cut the lights as they approached at a slow roll. He was about to suggest they bail out and move in on the lodge by foot when he noticed something was off about the place.