All this time.
And Nikolai knew that.
He knew it, and he kept it from her. She could have been here hours ago - in the daylight hours - doing something, anything, to see Mira to safety. Instead, Nikolai had deliberately withheld the truth from her, and, as a result, she had done nothing. Not totally nothing, she admitted, stricken with guilt for the pleasure she'd enjoyed with him while Mira was only about an hour out of her reach.
"Oh, God," she whispered, feeling sick at the thought.
She was vaguely aware of footsteps approaching the vehicle, her senses lighting up before her mind could process the sound. The blood bond she now shared with Nikolai told her it was him well before his dark form appeared at the window. He opened the SUV door and climbed inside like hell was on his heels.
"It's Dragos," he said, searching the console, dashboard, and seat for the cell phone. "Holy shit, I don't fucking believe it, but it was him. I just saw the son of a bitch inside the house with Fabien and the others. Dragos is here - right in our grasp. Where the hell is that phone?"
Renata stared at him, seeing a stranger as he leaned forward and reached for the cell phone where it lay near her feet on the floor of the vehicle. She hardly heard what he was saying. Hardly cared now.
"You lied to me."
He came back up, Lex's phone gripped in his hand. The adrenaline crackle that had been lighting his eyes dimmed a bit when he met her gaze. "What?"
"I trusted you. You told me I could trust you - that I could count on you - and I did. I believed you, and you betrayed me." She swallowed past the terrible lump in her throat and forced herself to spit the words out. "Mira is here. She's been here with Fabien since last night. You knew that...you kept it from me."
He went quiet, but he didn't even attempt to deny what she was saying. He looked at the phone in his hand as if he just now realized how it was that she had discovered his deception.
"I could have been here, Nikolai. Hours ago, I could have been here, doing something to get Mira out of that monster's hands!"
"Which is exactly why I didn't tell you," he said gently.
She scoffed, heartbroken. "You betrayed me."
"I did it to protect you. Because I love - "
"No," she said, shaking her head to keep from being played for a fool again. "No. Don't say that to me. How can you say that when you used those very words to keep me distracted - to make me believe that you actually cared about me while you and your buddies in the Order made plans of your own around me?"
"It's not like that at all. Nothing that happened between us today - nothing I said to you - had anything to do with the Order. Today was about you and me...it was about us."
"Bullshit!" He reached for her and she drew back, out of his grasp. She opened the door and got out of the SUV. He was out of the vehicle and around to her side, blocking her with his body, all of it happening so fast she couldn't even begin to track his movements. "Get away from me, Nikolai."
"Where are you going?" he asked gently.
"I can't sit here any longer and do nothing." She took a step around him but he was right there again. The gentleness in him was fading fast, replaced by a firmness that said he would keep her there in shackles if he thought he needed to. "I can't let you do this, Renata."
"That's not your choice to make," she fired back, trembling with fear and outrage. "Damn it, that was never your choice to make for me!"
He growled a curse and lunged for her.
Renata hardly knew what she had done until he froze in midstep, clutching the sides of his head in his hands. He hissed, his eyes throwing off amber sparks as he pinned her in a shocked, furious gaze. "Renata. Do not - "
She blasted him again, all of her fear for Mira and her pain at his betrayal pouring out of her in a punishing stream of mental heat. Nikolai crashed down onto his knees, groaning and writhing from the jolt of pain she'd unleashed on him. Renata bolted away from him, into the forest, before she allowed herself to be deterred by the regret already swelling up in her.
Chapter Thirty
The house was under heavily armed, guarded watch on all sides. Impossible to breach without being noticed by at least one of the Enforcement Agents staked out like the vampire equivalent of an antiterrorist SWAT team. Every one of them carried a shoot-first-ask-questions-later attitude, from their dark-visored black helmets and combat gear, to the bone-shredding automatic rifles they held at the ready.
Thanks to the agents who'd raided Jack's place the other night, Renata and Nikolai had come away with transportation, uniforms, and weapons. She didn't think she would be lucky enough to fake her way into the building, but on first glance, garbed as they were, the agents on watch might think her one of their own.
She put on the helmet she'd taken with her from the SUV and dropped the tinted visor. Adopting as much of a soldier's swagger as she could manage, Renata stepped out of the woods and approached the vampire guarding the west side of the house. The agent spotted her immediately. "Henri? What the fuck are you doing out there?"
Renata shrugged, lifted her good arm in a hell if I know gesture. She couldn't risk speaking to him - no more than she could risk using her gun to mow this obstacle down. If she let off a bunch of rounds, she would have the whole security detail on her ass. No, she had to keep her cool and just continue walking toward him with the hope that he wouldn't open fire out of raised suspicion alone.
"What's the matter with you, idiot?"