He shook his head slowly, considering. "I need to know she's going to be safe too. She belongs with the Order; that's her family. They'll look after her. They'll help her through."
Candice watched him, her hazel-green eyes far too wise. "And you, Kellan? Where does all of this leave you?"
He grunted, wry with resignation. "Right back where I started."
At least he had honesty in this moment, with these people. At least he had a few precious days and nights with Mira, a gift that made any price he paid more than worth the cost.
He had her love.
She would always have his heart.
"I think she's finally awake," Nina said, a moment after Kellan heard a bump of movement coming from the bedroom down the hall.
He was already heading that way, jolted into action by a sudden burst of pain passed to him through the blood bond. His long strides ate up the distance. He opened the door and found the bed empty, covers pushed aside. "Mira?"
He saw her a second later, on the floor near the foot of the bed. Her hands were wrapped around her shin. As soon as Kellan opened the door, his nostrils flared with the inhaled punch of her lily-scented blood. "Jesus Christ. What happened?"
"N-nothing," she stammered. He saw now that she had a bleeding gash on her leg. "I must've been half asleep when I got out of bed. I banged my shin into the bed frame."
"I'll get you something for it." He dashed into the bathroom to wet a washcloth, then brought the cold compress back out to her. "Here, use this."
Her fingers trembled shakily as she took the cloth from him and put it on her wound. It wasn't anything serious, but the fact that she had stumbled - Mira, as sure-footed a female as he'd ever seen and a combat-proven warrior besides - made a cold knot form in his gut. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," she replied quickly. Too quickly. And the blood bond told him another story. He registered fear and confusion running under the sting of her injury and the dull throb of her still-present headache. "Don't worry about me, Kellan. It's just a scratch."
He glanced at her face, at her eyes, which seemed to be looking past him, despite his effort to lock onto her gaze. Oh, Christ. He didn't want to acknowledge the thought that crept into his mind. He didn't want to consider the awful possibility.
"Mira . . ." He reached up to her face, up near her eyes.
Her gaze flicked a fraction but still didn't come to rest on him as he prayed it would. Her voice sounded so small. So heart-breakingly frightened. "What . . . what are you doing, Kellan?"
She didn't have any idea. He understood that without any doubt now.
But he had to know, had to see the truth of it for himself.
"Hold still," he told her gently. "I'm not going to hurt you."
Carefully he removed one of her contacts.
"Kellan, don't - " She sucked in a sharp breath and tried to avert her face from him, but he gingerly brought her back and removed the second lens. "Kellan . . . I didn't want you to know. I thought maybe if I rested for a while, I would get better."
"Oh, Mouse." He could hardly speak. The words tasted like ash on his tongue. "Oh, Jesus, baby . . . no."
Behind the lenses, her irises were no longer mirrorlike and clear.
They were milky white, opaque.
Her pupils stared straight ahead, minuscule pinpricks in the center of her sightless eyes.
Chapter Twenty
NATHAN ALREADY HAD ARIC CHASE ON THE LINE BY THE time Rafe and he left La Notte. "Any idea where your sister is tonight?"
"Carys? Yeah, she's with Jordana Gates at her apartment in Back Bay."
Nathan glanced at Rafe, who nodded in acknowledgment. "I know the place. Commonwealth, a block off the Public Garden."
"What's she done now?" Aric asked, then, more soberly: "She's not in any kind of trouble, is she?"