Warm hands came to rest on her shoulders. Calm permeated her panic, and she realized it was Zael’s touch on her now, his deep voice at her ear as he came to sit beside her on the bed. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe, Brynne.”
“No.” She was shaking, her heart banging inside her rib cage. “It’s not okay.”
Breaking out of his light hold, she scrambled to the edge of the mattress. Her stomach roiled with disgust for what she’d done.
For what Zael must have seen.
She felt naked, exposed. Sick with herself for countless reasons, including the fact that he was looking at her with a sympathy and understanding that she didn’t deserve.
“My clothes…”
“They were ruined,” he said. “I took them off you so you’d be more comfortable.”
Frowning, she glanced at the closed door that sealed her inside the room with him. She didn’t remember returning. She didn’t remember anything after the blinding explosion of light that had filled her head. “How did I…?”
“I brought you back from Georgetown with me,” he answered as he rose to his feet beside her. “As for the rest, I told Tavia and everyone else that I found you in the alley unconscious. I told them I guessed you must’ve fainted after your struggle with a Rogue.”
“Fainted.” She scoffed quietly, gesturing to his hands. “I saw your palms glowing. You zapped me with them. You knocked me out.”
He stared at her, a flicker of remorse in his eyes. There was still a combativeness inside her that flared at the thought of being overpowered by anyone—even if her behavior invited it. But it was difficult to hold on to her anger toward Zael, knowing she had left him little choice but to defend himself.
He could have done anything to her in that alley tonight after he’d subdued her with his light, even kill her. Instead he brought her back to the shelter of the command center. He’d sat with her while she slept. Now he stood here offering comfort when she wouldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing to do with her ever again.
Instead of turning away from her in fear or abhorrence, he had looked after her. Protected her. And he still was.
“You lied to my sister and the Order for me.”
He stepped toward her. “I thought you’d want to explain to them yourself. When you’re ready.”
“No. I’m never going to tell them. They’ll never look at me the same way again.”
The idea of allowing anyone else to know what she truly was sent a shudder through her. She had protected this secret all her life, keeping herself isolated, devoting herself to her work because it was the only thing she could hold on to. The only thing she had.
But now there was Zael.
She hated that he’d seen her as she had been in that alley.
As kind as he was treating her, she couldn’t delude herself into thinking he would ever forget what she was. For his own safety and her peace of mind, she hoped he would finally stay away for good.
Yet he only drew nearer.
When she pushed some of the blood-stiffened strands of hair from her face, he gently caught her hand. Shook his head slowly as he threaded his fingers through hers.
“Come with me, Brynne.”
He led her into the en suite bathroom, leaving her only long enough to turn on the water in the large shower.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, reaching around her to unfasten her bra.
She wanted to protest his careful treatment of her, but her need for comforting overrode all of her old defenses. She was miserable and distressed, and so very tired. Tired of the hiding. Tired of the loneliness.
Her bra fell away. Zael reached for her panties and slid them over her hips, down her thighs, then bent to help her step out of them completely. This wasn’t about sex, and yet she could not keep her body from responding to every light touch of his fingers, from the clean, enticing scent of him as he stood close enough that she could feel the heat of his skin.
Her dermaglyphs began to darken with color as her desire awakened. She had never been ashamed of the part of her that was Breed. But she was Ancient, too, and because of that she brought her hands up to cover herself as her markings deepened, their colors flickering over her skin.
“No,” he murmured. “You don’t hide from me anymore. Not after tonight.”
She swallowed as he drew her hands away and placed them at her sides. “Zael…”