“Want to go out on Saturday night?”
“Yes,” I say, maybe before he’s even finished his question. I grin at him and he laughs at me.
And then he moves closer.
I hold my breath, considering that Luke might kiss me right here in the middle of the commons. Just as I’m deciding whether or not I can kiss with an audience, Luke, staring intently into my eyes, raises a hand toward my face. Slowly, softly, he rubs his thumb along my jawbone. I’m hypnotized by the most perfect kind of touch. Oddly, it feels even more intimate than a kiss.
“Talk to you later,” Luke whispers, before breaking the trance and heading off in the direction of his next class.
“Bye,” I breathe after him.
I stand still, relishing the moment. Then, just before I turn to float to History, a familiar outfit catches my eye. At the other end of the vast common area, Jamie stands in front of the soda machine, staring at me.
I wave and she waves back, but there is something missing in her simple gesture. I consider going over and talking to her. But before my feet can move, Jamie turns and leaves.
14
“Jamie?”
“Hi! Why are you answering like that?”
“I’m just surprised that you’re calling, I guess,” I admit.
“Why?” Jamie plays dumb.
“You seemed upset today,” I say softly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I imagine the guilty look on her face on the other end of the phone. I can hear it in her voice, and that’s enough for me. I’m moving on.
“So what’s up?”
“Not much,” she says. “Had dinner, watched some TV.”
“Me, too.”
“Did you say anything to your mom about the stuff you found?”
“What? No!” I practically shout into the phone. “I can’t talk to her about that,” I add at a lower volume.
“I hear you,” Jamie says in a way that annoys me. Jamie’s mom will never be sneaky like mine. She’ll support Jamie through everything.
“Anyway, I did it,” she says.
“Did what?” I ask.
“Ugh, your messed-up memory is so annoying sometimes,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I met Ted after school.”
And then, I remember.
I remember the relationship that will destroy a marriage, ruin a career, and break my best friend’s heart. I recall notes about trying to talk her out of it, and more notes about trying to ignore it.
I remember the future when it all plays out, and suddenly I feel sick to my stomach. Jamie is stubborn, but I should have tried harder.
“Oh, Jamie. Are you okay?”
“Okay? Are you serious? I’m better than okay. He’s amazing.”
I can’t help but wonder if this is in response to Jamie seeing me with Luke.