Forgotten

Luke’s breath is even now, and mine falls into step with his. I am thankful for this day, this boy beside me, and this blanket keeping us warm.

A distant question forms in the depths of my mind.

What time is it?

The question is fleeting, flitting, pushed aside by a more prevalent and wonderful thought: I think I’m falling in love.

No, I know I am.

I’m falling in love with Luke.

I close my eyes from the sheer mass of it all, just for a moment.

For a few moments.

For a while.

And now, I’m in Ireland.

I’m in the Ireland I’ve seen in movies, at least. Standing in a gargantuan green field with a short stone wall marking perimeters too far off to reach, I know this is our land, Luke’s and mine. The tiny stone cottage behind us with the smoke billowing from the chimney is ours, too. Beside me, Luke wears a thick ivory wool sweater and a plaid scarf, and he smokes a pipe.

Since when does Luke smoke a pipe?

More important, what are we doing in Ireland?

Most important, why is that Tyrannosaurus rex charging toward us, teeth bared and hungry?

Oh no.

Oh NO!

No no no no no!!!!!

This can’t be happening.

Somehow, from deep in my consciousness, I realize that I’m asleep. I know this sweater-wearing, smoking, Irish Luke is not the real Luke, the one that already I can’t remember. The thought of him is barely out of reach, but it’s gone nonetheless. Like something you were going to say but forgot and can’t quite grasp again.

I reach into the pockets of my dream apron and search frantically for the note that I haven’t left myself. It’s not there in my dream; it will not be there when I awaken.

There is no note.

There will be no memory.

Real Luke is gone.

18

“WHERE AM I?” I shout, terrified.

I sit up and pull the blanket to my chest. Whose blanket is this?

I take in my surroundings.

I’m in a van.

I’m in a van with a strange guy.

I strain my neck to peek out the window and realize that I’m in the middle of nowhere. In a van! Rapists drive vans! Wondering if I’ve been violated, I concentrate on my private parts for any indication of wrongdoing. The parts seem to have remained private, but I can’t be sure.