Private Maneuvers (Wingmen Warriors 4)
Page 120
He didn't turn back. Just waited.
Damn him again for making her be the one to say it. But he'd been right in the hospital. They couldn't leave it like this.
She let the question fall from her mouth, a question that had tormented her insecurities. "Is that your real name?"
His hand fell away from the door. Slowly he turned, and she was confused all over again. She didn't recognize this man any more than the Max of the weeks prior. The man of the past few days.
She looked closer and found...he was pieces of both.
Could that be wishful thinking? She didn't know or have the energy to wade through it all at the moment. This man stretched her comprehension on a good day.
This had not been a good day.
He stepped forward, closed the space between them and extended his hand. Took hers in warm callused heat that was oh-so familiar. "Hi, I'm Max Keagan, and yeah, that's my real name, although I've answered to others on occasion when the job called for it. I have an undergraduate degree in biology from Stanford. A doctorate in marine biology from the University of San Diego. And somewhere along the way to typing 'the end' on my dissertation, I accepted an intriguing offer to work for the government."
She listened—and heaven help her, even believed— all the while wondering why she couldn't bring herself to pull her hand from his enfolding grasp.
Her toes curled in her socks. "And the part about being a military brat, was that just a cover story? A way to get closer to me so you could—'' she winced on the bitter word "—'protect' me?"
Max looked into Darcy's eyes and realized his answer could mark a beginning or end. His choice.
He could so easily slide into any number of personas he'd donned over the years and send her running. That would sure as hell simplify things. He'd checked on her. Found her safe. He could walk away as he'd done countless times before.
He could. But he wouldn't. Not now that he knew it wouldn't make any damned difference. This woman had taken up residence in his head and he didn't have a clue how to evict her. Damned well didn't want to.
"Hell, yeah, I wanted to protect you. But the parts about my past, my father," he forced himself to say, "Eva and the baby. All true."
A sigh shuddered through her. Seeing how much that simple admission mattered to her piled more guilt on top of the old. She deserved better than he could give her, not that he could stomach the thought of anyone else stepping into his place.
She wanted him. He wanted her. And after a week of having almost lost her twice, he couldn't bring himself to turn away again.
Max pulled her closer until she resisted, inches shy of contact, her heat grazing him all the same. "That wasn't the only truth. I wanted you, Darcy, so damned much it dogged me every minute, all day, every night. But I couldn't take it further, not when I couldn't be honest with you."
"So you never have sex while undercover?"
God, he loved her spunk. She wouldn't make this easy for him, but who the hell wanted easy, anyway? "That's not the point."
She shook her hand free and backed up a step. "Then make your point, friend."
He advanced, invading her space just as she invaded his senses. "Yeah, I resisted for the job, to protect you and for a selfish reason, as well." A truth he'd only just admitted to himself. "I wanted you to be with me, not the person you thought I was."
Damn it, look at me, Darcy. See me.
Her hand raised, slowly, almost as if against her will. She touched his arm with just one finger along his tattoo, tracing the inked edges along his bicep. "And now I feel less like I know you than when you stepped into that briefing room a month ago."
Another damned coincidence since he didn't feel like the same man anymore. Darcy had torn down so many walls, demolished defenses.
One elegant finger abandoned the tattoo for the scar disappearing into his sleeve. "Would you have ever told me who you are, even after this case?"
Leave it to Darcy to slice straight to the truth. He'd lied to her about so many things, had so many things from his job he could never tell her. He needed to be honest now. "I don't know what I would have done. But I do know you got to me, the way no one else ever has. You still get to me. Realizing something could have happened to you today, earlier this week, is burning at my gut. Yeah, I'm here because I want to protect you. And I'm not going to back off or apologize for that."
He locked his fingers around her wrist, stopped her tantalizing touch while soaking up the feel of her satin skin. "But what I said outside is true, too. I'm also here because I have to hold you."
The defenses fell away from her eyes, leaving Darcy standing in front of him for the first time since she'd stalked away from him on the beach. "God, Max, you may not talk often, but when you do, you sure know how to level a woman."
Taking her words for consent, he dragged her into his arms as he'd wanted to do since he'd seen her filling out forms at the hospital. Hell, since the first time he'd seen her in that briefing room back in California.
He held her close, probably too tight, and inhaled the scent of her. Soap and baby powder. Darcy and innocence tinged with the harsh scent of smoke making him want to hold her all the tighter.