He could. But he wouldn't. Not now that he knew it wouldn't make any damned difference. This woman had taken up residence in his head and he didn't have a clue how to evict her. Damned well didn't want to.
"Hell, yeah, I wanted to protect you. But the parts about my past, my father," he forced himself to say, "Eva and the baby. All true."
A sigh shuddered through her. Seeing how much that simple admission mattered to her piled more guilt on top of the old. She deserved better than he could give her, not that he could stomach the thought of anyone else stepping into his place.
She wanted him. He wanted her. And after a week of having almost lost her twice, he couldn't bring himself to turn away again.
Max pulled her closer until she resisted, inches shy of contact, her heat grazing him all the same. "That wasn't the only truth. I wanted you, Darcy, so damned much it dogged me every minute, all day, every night. But I couldn't take it further, not when I couldn't be honest with you."
"So you never have sex while undercover?"
God, he loved her spunk. She wouldn't make this easy for him, but who the hell wanted easy, anyway? "That's not the point."
She shook her hand free and backed up a step. "Then make your point, friend."
He advanced, invading her space just as she invaded his senses. "Yeah, I resisted for the job, to protect you and for a selfish reason, as well." A truth he'd only just admitted to himself. "I wanted you to be with me, not the person you thought I was."
Damn it, look at me, Darcy. See me.
Her hand raised, slowly, almost as if against her will. She touched his arm with just one finger along his tattoo, tracing the inked edges along his bicep. "And now I feel less like I know you than when you stepped into that briefing room a month ago."
Another damned coincidence since he didn't feel like the same man anymore. Darcy had torn down so many walls, demolished defenses.
One elegant finger abandoned the tattoo for the scar disappearing into his sleeve. "Would you have ever told me who you are, even after this case?"
Leave it to Darcy to slice straight to the truth. He'd lied to her about so many things, had so many things from his job he could never tell her. He needed to be honest now. "I don't know what I would have done. But I do know you got to me, the way no one else ever has. You still get to me. Realizing something could have happened to you today, earlier this week, is burning at my gut. Yeah, I'm here because I want to protect you. And I'm not going to back off or apologize for that."
He locked his fingers around her wrist, stopped her tantalizing touch while soaking up the feel of her satin skin. "But what I said outside is true, too. I'm also here because I have to hold you."
The defenses fell away from her eyes, leaving Darcy standing in front of him for the first time since she'd stalked away from him on the beach. "God, Max, you may not talk often, but when you do, you sure know how to level a woman."
Taking her words for consent, he dragged her into his arms as he'd wanted to do since he'd seen her filling out forms at the hospital. Hell, since the first time he'd seen her in that briefing room back in California.
He held her close, probably too tight, and inhaled the scent of her. Soap and baby powder. Darcy and innocence tinged with the harsh scent of smoke making him want to hold her all the tighter.
Her chest rose and fell, faster, heavier, until her br**sts brushed him. Tightened. Bringing an answering tightening in him, an arousal she couldn't miss, pressed so closely to him. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders, but she stayed silent.
He understood her hesitation. He'd pushed her away so many times, hurt her pride once too often. She wouldn't ask. Now to lay it all out there and hope she didn't opt for revenge. A risk well worth taking for a chance to be with her.
He didn't know where they were going. Or how the hell they would manage the aftermath. But he was certain of one thing.
No more holding back.
"Darcy," he whispered against her hair.
"Yeah, Max?" She didn't move or even look at him. But she didn't pull away, either.
"I want you. I wish I could find prettier words for you than that, but you already know I'm not the most communicative guy on the planet. You deserve to hear how damned incredible you are. Except the more I talk, the more I'm finding there aren't any words that come close to doing you justice." He eased back to stare deep into her eyes and repeated, "You deserve to know."
Max cupped her face in his hands, determined to show her a much better way to communicate with their mouths than talking.
Chapter 13
Who needed talk?
Darcy flung her arms around Max's neck and backed toward the bed, her lips parting to accept the warm sweep of his tongue. Answer him with the touch of her own.
Her fingers combed through his spiky hair as she'd longed to do countless times since she'd first eyed the sun-kissed strands. She submerged herself in the sensation of his coarse hair rasping over her sensitized skin. Not because of a need for risks or adventure, but in a heart-twisting hope to connect with Max on a deeper level.