She slapped a hand over her mouth.
Then smacked his arm. "You always do know how to cheer me up. Thanks for making me smile."
Zach swiped a hand over his face. "Damn, Julia, good thing I have a mighty healthy ego or that could have set me back a step."
Her laughs trickled to a stop. Green eyes widened. "You're not joking?"
He shook his head slowly until her hand gravitated to her mouth again. No laughs this time. "Marry you?"
Time for those persuasive arguments before she poked a finger through the bear's stuffing. "A temporary marriage. Until the end of the summer when I transfer to Air War College in Alabama. You'll have your months with Patrick and I'll be able to finish out my tour as commander without my family falling apart."
"But isn't marriage going a little overboard? We could just help each other more."
He planted a boot on the running board, elbow on his knee as he leaned toward her. "That won't fix the fundamental problems. You want to be a hundred percent available for Patrick these next few months and I need someone I can count on to be there for the girls twenty-four/seven. My job has insane hours, TDYs like the Guam deployment, midnight calls from the flight line. God, can you imagine what it was like arranging day care for my kids from the middle of the Pacific Ocean via phone patch?"
The more he thought about it, the more the proposal made sense. "My kids deserve better.
My squadron deserves better."
And he couldn't afford to give his second in command a toehold for pulling more stunts like he had with Bronco's nose gear six weeks ago. More than his peace of mind rested on this decision. The safety of his kids and an entire squadron hung on one simple word from Julia.
Yes.
He willed her to say it, and when she didn't, he charged ahead full-throttle. "We're already friends. The girls are used to you. You know their routine. Patrick will have even more support with all the extra hands and smiles around here. You can rent out your house. Beach property always fills, and your place will be there waiting for you afterward. Think about it, Julia."
He could see the wheels churning, and his instincts told him he was making headway.
The promise of victory surged through him.
Her eyes narrowed. "What about sex?'
Victory leapt backward.
Leave it to Julia to spell it out, but then he'd always liked that about her. No games. No artifice. Just Julia. Too bad he didn't know the right answer to her question.
Honestly, he wanted her. Not a chance could he see himself turning down an offer to have those long legs and her husky laugh wrapping around him. But if her acceptance hinged on a no-sex agreement, he would lock up those thoughts so tight she would never know.
"What about sex?"
"I'm afraid I misled you with what I said earlier, about finding you attractive. I do. Find you attractive, I mean." A smile whispered over her mouth. "Really attractive. But." The smile vanished. "I'm not ready to have a man, any man, in my bed again."
"Julia, I understand you just had a baby. I realize your body needs time to heal."
"That's not what I meant. It's been the requisite six weeks. My body may have healed, but my heart..."
Straight up and honest, she met his gaze. "It's a long way from ready, and right now, I can't imagine a time when I'll ever be ready to open myself up to any kind of relationship again."
Disappointment chugged through him, but he wouldn't let that rock his determination.
"All right, then. We'll make it a platonic thing. I'll put a daybed for myself in the computer room. You take the master bedroom since it's large enough for the crib too."
"For nearly a year?" She laughed again, a short snort of disbelief. "Get real, Zach. I don't expect you to stay celibate that long because I have some hang-ups." She clutched the bear to her stomach like a lifeline. "Call me crazy, but if we did marry, even a no-sex kinda thing, couldn't take it if you slept with someone else."
Bronco's words earlier about Lance's affair burned into Zach's brain. Damn Lance Sinclair and his ability to reach beyond the grave to hurt Julia.
Zach chose his words with care, strategy never more mission-essential than now. What he said became important beyond convincing her to marry him. He needed to heal those fears for her and reassure her that some men could be trusted. He could be trusted. "Julia, I've already gone without sex for over a year and it hasn't killed me yet."
Although there were times—like now—when he suspected it might.