No. The last thing she needed was to get carried away in the moment and risk pregnancy. Babies were precious, wonderful, and sadly not a part of her future.
It wouldn't be fair to a child to saddle it with a mother like herself. Andrew had made it clear she was the last woman on earth he would want parenting a kid of his. Why couldn't she be soft as well as successful? He'd presented his case too well.
She couldn't hear to hear those same words come from Tanner's mouth.
Kathleen clutched her gift. "Well, I guess that settles that, then. We should probably chew on some more of that cactus, pile on pickets for the night…"
"Hey, Kathleen?"
"What?" She couldn't disguise her irritation, the flat-out frustration creeping into that single word.
He pushed to his feet, cupped the back of her neck and sealed his mouth to hers for a mind-searing kiss that ended far too soon. Tanner drew his face from hers. "If you still want me once we get to base, I'll jump you before you can say 'Joshua tree'."
Her mouth turned dry as desert sand.
And, for now, there was nothing left for them to do but go to bed.
Chapter 12
Well, he'd wanted Kathleen in his bed, but this wasn't exactly what he'd envisioned. Tanner shifted on the rock-hard church floor, a too soft and tempting woman slept in his arms, while the wind growled outside.
His arm looped around her waist just below her breasts. Her bottom snuggled against him with tormenting warmth and pressure. Heat surged south with unerring navigation.
The fates had to be laughing their butts off over this one. He couldn't have her, but he had to hold her because of the cold. The fire puffed smoke and dim lighting, but only offered minimal heat. Basic Survival 101 dictated they share body warmth.
It was working. His temp had to be in the triple digits. He'd never wanted a woman more, and he couldn't do a thing about it, thanks to her concussion. It wouldn't be honorable.
The two condoms in his wallet were all but burning a hole in his back pocket. Lying about not having them had been the toughest thing he'd ever done, but he'd run out of options for dissuading her, since she wouldn't take proper care of herself.
After his and Kathleen's kiss outside the bar, he'd promptly invested in a serious stash of birth control, even pocketed two just in case. He would be prepared to protect her.
Who'd have thought protecting her meant turning her down altogether?
His watch glowed in the hazy night. Time to wake her again in a few minutes.
It hadn't been a half bad Christmas. The look on her face when she'd traced those letters on the fence picket had erased a substantial amount of bad memories for him. He knew every Christmas for the rest of his life would include thinking of this night.
If they hiked back to base quickly enough, they should still be able to make arrangements to attend Cutter's wedding. So why the odd sense of restlessness clouding his head?
Kathleen sighed in her sleep, wriggled, sending a fresh throbbing ache through him. He gritted his teeth until she settled again, her head on his forearm, that red hair spilling in every direction over the slab floor.
He checked his watch. Two more minutes left. Close enough. He reset the alarm.
Tanner rested his face against hers, his mouth close to her lips as he whispered, "Kathleen? Time for a two-hour check."
"'Kay."
"What's the date?"
"December twenty-fifth. Early in the morning."
"Good. You can go back to sleep."
"Thanks."
"No problem, Athena."
What kind of wedding had Kathleen had? And why was he hanging out in a church imagining her in a white dress?