Their acceptance.
She should have known Tanner wouldn't be a traditional flowers-and-candy kind of guy. In keeping with the nutcracker necklace and an Athena spike, Tanner had given her something far more valuable, so very special, because his gift had been chosen just for her. And she'd earned it in a way she'd never earned a spot in her family or with Andrew.
For the first time, she fit.
An hour later Kathleen felt Tanner's hand slide into hers. She didn't have to look over her shoulder to know it was him. She recognized his touch well as he stood behind her, supporting her without overshadowing.
Kathleen set aside her plate and broke off her conversation with Crusty. She stepped away from the bubbling champagne fountain toward Tanner. "Yes?"
He ducked his head and whispered in her ear, "Are you ready for that talk now?"
A nervous tremble started in her stomach, milder than earlier, but still there. Two days ago her answer would have been no, but she'd learned a lot about herself lately, about Tanner, about taking risks. She could handle those rogue nervous twinges, had to, because the payoff promised to be awesome.
Tilting her face up to his, Kathleen squeezed his hand. "Yeah, I think I am."
The surprised lift of his brows pinched her with guilt, but she would make it up to him.
"Where do you want to go?" he asked.
Anywhere too private and they wouldn't talk. Sex would offer a too convenient distraction, an easy out she wouldn't take this time. "Let's just walk. See where our feet lead us."
"Fair enough."
Side by side they left the club. Stars and streetlights dappled bricked walkways. The temperate southern winter night carried a light chill, but not enough to pierce their uniform jackets.
Silently they strolled, keeping pace with each other until they came to the flight line. Kathleen wasn't sure who'd lead whom, but there they were, right back where they'd started almost three weeks ago. Standing on a windswept flight line.
An SP cruised by, checked them out, then continued down the flight line.
Kathleen let her hand drift up to finger one of Tanner's medals. "Thank you for what you did back there. That was really…"
She searched for the right word.
Tanner winced. "Sweet?"
"Special." She dropped the aerial achievement medal back in place, smoothed the rows of other medals flat against the broad chest that carried such a big heart.
"I'm glad it made you happy. You deserved it." He eyed her with uncertainty, as if gauging her next move.
And he had good reason, given her track record.
She'd blamed so much of her fear of relationships on her ex. After all, he'd been the one to cheat on her, the one to walk. But hadn't she been running all her life, closing herself off from real emotions rather than risk failing? She'd been attracted to Tanner all those years ago, no doubt had a colossal crush on him.
Then he'd become a real man to her the night his sister had died. Once she'd been forced to see him as more than a sports jock, a safe crush that would never play out, she'd run like crazy from the possibility of facing emotions more substantial than infatuation.
She'd been playing out the same scenario even twelve years later. Forced to see Tanner as more than some jet jock, she had to face her powerful feelings for the man. The real man.
No more hiding, she asked, "Where do we go from here?"
Tanner's chest expanded beneath her hand, then lowered with a hefty exhale. "You told me once you want a man who talks, a man who says what he's thinking, because you're not one for guessing games. So I'm going to lay it all out here for you. I love you, Kathleen O'Connell. Doc. Athena. Cadet or Captain. I love every gorgeous, infuriating, exciting inch of you. I love the way you challenge me. I love the way you make me be a better man when I'm with you. And I want the honor of loving every inch of you for the rest of my life."
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his powerful band so gentle against her bandage that her eyes stung. "That's where I stand. Help me out here, Kathleen. I need to hear what you're thinking, too."
"I'm thinking I want to say all the same things to you." She pressed both hands to his solid chest to keep him from lunging forward, and to steal a little comfort and reassurance from the solid wall of muscle and man beneath her hands. "I want to jump in with both feet and say to hell with being careful. But, God, Tanner, I'm so damned scared of messing up again."
"Honey, you go right ahead and jump. I'll spot you every day for the rest of our lives. And I trust you'll do the same for me."
The intensity in those blue eyes swayed her, but she knew she wanted to be convinced. Stepping outside a lifelong comfort zone wasn't so easily accomplished. She had one last ghost to banish. "What about kids?"