And he had good reason, given her track record.
She'd blamed so much of her fear of relationships on her ex. After all, he'd been the one to cheat on her, the one to walk. But hadn't she been running all her life, closing herself off from real emotions rather than risk failing? She'd been attracted to Tanner all those years ago, no doubt had a colossal crush on him.
Then he'd become a real man to her the night his sister had died. Once she'd been forced to see him as more than a sports jock, a safe crush that would never play out, she'd run like crazy from the possibility of facing emotions more substantial than infatuation.
She'd been playing out the same scenario even twelve years later. Forced to see Tanner as more than some jet jock, she had to face her powerful feelings for the man. The real man.
No more hiding, she asked, "Where do we go from here?"
Tanner's chest expanded beneath her hand, then lowered with a hefty exhale. "You told me once you want a man who talks, a man who says what he's thinking, because you're not one for guessing games. So I'm going to lay it all out here for you. I love you, Kathleen O'Connell. Doc. Athena. Cadet or Captain. I love every gorgeous, infuriating, exciting inch of you. I love the way you challenge me. I love the way you make me be a better man when I'm with you. And I want the honor of loving every inch of you for the rest of my life."
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his powerful band so gentle against her bandage that her eyes stung. "That's where I stand. Help me out here, Kathleen. I need to hear what you're thinking, too."
"I'm thinking I want to say all the same things to you." She pressed both hands to his solid chest to keep him from lunging forward, and to steal a little comfort and reassurance from the solid wall of muscle and man beneath her hands. "I want to jump in with both feet and say to hell with being careful. But, God, Tanner, I'm so damned scared of messing up again."
"Honey, you go right ahead and jump. I'll spot you every day for the rest of our lives. And I trust you'll do the same for me."
The intensity in those blue eyes swayed her, but she knew she wanted to be convinced. Stepping outside a lifelong comfort zone wasn't so easily accomplished. She had one last ghost to banish. "What about kids?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I … try this and I blow it again, what about our children? If you want them."
Without hesitation he answered, "Yes, I want them. With you." His brows pulled together. "And you? What do you want?"
God love him for asking. No one else ever had. She'd always had to fight for what she wanted from life, and she'd fought alone. Not any longer. Andrew had made her fear she was too reserved, too much of a loner to be a good mother. But she knew that wasn't the truth—probably not then and definitely not now.
With faith that this man would accept and nurture all her dreams as his own, Kathleen shared her heartfelt wish. "Yes, I want them." Certainty flowed through her. "With you."
Tanner's eyes closed, his head falling to rest against hers. His throat moved with a long swallow before he looked down at her.
That sense of déjà vu hit her again. Thoughts of standing on the airfield in Germany flashed through her mind, brash Tanner staggering off the airplane, fighting through the pain. Bravado had glossed over his hurt and a fear that he would lose something important. She saw that same flicker of fear in his eyes now, a fear slowly easing away.
He'd been afraid of losing her.
He really loved her.
Then he smiled, a full-dimpled smile. He threw his head back and laughed, hefted her up and spun her around twice before cruising her to a safe landing on the runway. "You won't be sorry, Kathleen. There's nothing you can't do once you set your mind to it, and now that you've set your mind on us, hon, we're a sure thing. With the combined forces of our not-so-subtle wills, we'll make this work."
The man certainly did have a way with words, and she'd always loved a man who could talk. She'd always loved this man. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, I love you. Yes, I'll many you. And yes, I'll populate the Air Force with our little warrior gods and goddesses."
"That's my Athena. A woman of few words, but when she talks, she says all the right things."
"Kiss me." Kathleen arched up on her toes as he leaned down, their lips meeting. She let her mouth soften under his, cling, just a leisurely sort of kiss, the kind given with ease as if it were her right. And it was.
Finally, after twelve years of longing, she could just kiss, enjoy, savor the feel of Tanner's mouth against hers, confident in the knowledge that she could return for more anytime, anywhere for the rest of her life.
Kathleen ended the kiss with a final nip. Her hands hooked around his neck, her head on his chest as she eyed the airplane just across the tarmac. Deliciously wicked intent fired inside her.
She stepped out of his embrace and patted along her jacket, then her skirt until Tanner finally asked, "What are you doing?"
"This uniform doesn't have enough pockets. I seem to have forgotten my UCMJ manual."
"And that's a problem because…?"