Ah. Understanding hummed through her as clearly as the airplane's drone overhead. "Your question is a third as long as mine. And vague. What if he misses the point because of that vagueness?"
"What if I'm missing the point and he tells me something I never expected?"
Surprise at his insight stunned her quiet. What else might he have offered up if she'd asked his input on the parenting more often? "Valid thought."
"Yeah, I just made it up."
A laugh snorted free. His dry wit always snuck up on her like that. "But women need those extra words. Otherwise how are we supposed to know when you're in pain?"
"There's your logic flaw. A man's never in pain."
"That he'll admit."
"Bingo."
What else could she pry out of her reticent husband with a few more questions? "So how does a woman know when a man needs something?"
A slow smile dimpled his rugged handsomeness seconds before his smoky gray eyes steamed over her. "Oh, babe, trust me, you'll know."
The truck cab fogged all over again, heavier this time since it sparked the barely banked heat of their kiss moments prior. She wanted so much from him, and she was right in demanding he pony up more in their relationship.
But she'd hit a wall so many times with her clam-up husband. Regardless of whether they stayed together, they would be together in many ways because of their children. She needed to understand J.T.'s hidden emotions if she ever expected to survive without combusting into flames—from both anger and passion. "What does it mean when a guy stumbles on his wife in the kitchen and when she offers to share her precious chili, he says, 'What the hell are you doing up?'"
He stared outside at the red brick building for so long, she thought he wouldn't answer her. No surprise. However, she was mega-surprised by how much she wanted that answer.
Finally, he turned, resigned, like a man heading to the gallows, scouring guilt over her for having sent him there. "You want more words, Rena? Here they are. In this case, the snapping then and now means a guy is horny as hell since he hasn't been with a woman except for one weekend in six months. It means he misses coming home from work to his wife, being able to slip up behind her, wrap his arms around her, fill his hands with her breasts. Fill her body with his."
The steam came straight off her overheated flesh this time. He missed her, missed what they had together. And even as she knew they needed so much more to hold it together, it felt so good to know he'd found some comfort, happiness, something in their life together.
He cupped her chin, his touch not quite gentle, but then the emotions stinging through her were anything but gentle. "It means he's damn tired of life being so complicated. But it is. And he's got to deal with it the best way he knows how, which means keeping things uncomplicated."
His fingers threaded up into her hair. "And we both know, babe, sex between the two of us is never uncomplicated." He drew his hand back, gentle, insistent, tugging against tangling curls, long, slow. "Sex for us is intense and messy and mind-blowing."
Her breaths came in heavy bursts of need, nerves along her scalp tingling with awareness. If he leaned forward, she would kiss him again. Let him kiss her, maybe more, because his words touched her as firmly as his hands.
But he didn't kiss her. "And we both need a clear mind now more than ever.">Who the hell was this man and what had he done with her husband?
"We need to talk."
And now he wanted discussion?
The world was totally screwed up. Maybe his trip into base would mark a shift from all those night flights to day flights so he wouldn't be around to entice her during waking hours. "About what?"
He slowed onto the exit ramp off the highway at the base exit during lunch rush hour. "Do you think everything's okay with Chris?"
That sounded more like her husband, focusing on the kids. Safe territory.
She considered his question through an entire traffic light. She'd traveled this familiar parental route with her husband often in the past. He would ask her how he should approach one of the kids. She would give him advice that he always followed. She felt needed.
But he would be parenting alone during his weekends and vacations with Chris. Even though she was close now to help, what if he was transferred? He couldn't pick up the phone every time he had a question about what to say to their son.
He was a loving father, worked hard at being there for his kids. But only now did she realize how he always acquiesced to her way when it came to parenting.
She'd let him rely on her. Had she wanted him to need her on at least some level? A painful notion because then she would have done her children a disservice.
Damn it, she'd tried her best to balance everything. He was gone so often, most of the daily parenting fell to her. They couldn't afford a slew of phone calls. The Internet and e-mails helped with keeping him in touch with his kids, but that hadn't been a major-player option until they were older.
She circled her jumble of bracelets round and round her wrist. No use beating herself or him up about the past. Just do the best she could with their present and future.