"But the problem is...?"
"Problems. Plural. We tried things once before and I screwed it up." He ticked reasons off a finger at a time. "Her family would disapprove. I'm not sure I'm husband material and she definitely deserves it all."
"Whoa." Vic held up his work-scarred hands. "You're already using the M word. I thought you were talking about liking a woman and asking her out on a date. Don't you think you're jumping ahead of yourself?"
Didn't people date to see if something more would develop? And when a woman was obviously the happily-ever-after sort, wasn't it leading her on to date when he knew full well it wouldn't lead anywhere beyond a bed? Okay, so he was old-fashioned. He couldn't help it, probably went along with his tapioca pudding mentality.
"Did you apologize for what you did before, the time you screwed it up?"
He nodded.
"Have you done something to make up for it?"
Amends. A critical part of the twelve-step program, but also keeping in mind not to press for forgiveness if the action hurt that person worse. "I'm not sure I could make this one right."
"Did you try? Even if something can't be fixed, there's comfort in knowing the other person tried."
"I've been looking out for her, checking her security. Nikki's in a helluva vulnerable state."
"It must be tough for her to be so helpless."
"Nikki's a tough lady," Carson answered without even thinking—then stopped, the words and their truth kicking around in his head for a second before settling.
Why hadn't he realized it before? Sure Nikki had been dealt a raw deal right now, but he needed to stop viewing her as a victim. Had he done so as a convenient excuse to keep his distance?
He needed to quit thinking he was protecting her by ignoring the attraction, the connection. Not that he'd been all that successful. Relationships were a lot tougher to achieve than any Ivy League diploma on his wall.
Was he really considering asking her out on dates? Forget the age difference? Her father's objections. His own concerns about his ability to be an equal partner. A hefty dose of cons.
And only one reason in the pro column, a reason he couldn't even quite define. Something as nebulous as the way the wind in sails and the clouds against a windscreen soothed his soul. "You're right."
"Of course. No morons around here, remember?"
"We can only hope." He rocked back in his office chair. "Any suggestions for how I should make things right so I have a chance at moving forward?"
Jansen leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "There's no secret answer other than every woman is different. Quit trying to charge ahead with what you think she needs and just listen."
Another A.A. technique he should have figured out for himself.
Flipping his wrist to check his watch, Jansen winced. "I gotta make tracks." He shoved to his feet. "Give me a call anytime. Okay?"
"Will do."
Jansen paused by the door. "Hey, Carson?"
"What?"
"Good luck." The lumbering vet smirked.
"I'm going to need it figuring this lady out."
"That isn't what I meant." Jansen shook his head slowly. "I meant good luck, because Nikki Price's father is totally going to kick your officer ass."
Great. Just what every guy wanted to hear as he reached for the phone to call a woman.
* * *
Nikki strode along the wooden walkway toward Beachcombers chanting, "Idiot, idiot, idiot..." But a curiously excited idiot.>She searched her mind to recapture the faces that had been in the bar around her, all people she knew and simply accepted as part of her world. Why hadn't she paid more attention to details?