Then he walked.
Sara stifled a groan at each jarring step, battling waves of nausea. Now wasn't the time to fight, not while Ramon had his weapon so close and her head was swimming with vertigo. With Lucas and Lucia counting on her, she couldn't afford to be impetuous and waste a precious opportunity.
Because she wouldn't leave Lucas, her husband, her love, alone ever again. Even as consciousness faded, she vowed that unlike five years ago on the embassy lawn, this time she would get it right....
"Why the hell won't you marry me?" Lucas demanded.
She blew a stream of bubbles to give herself a chance to think, exhaling slowly to keep from hyperventilating. Keep from flinging her arms around his neck and shouting that of course she would marry him, even though he offered for the least romantic of reasons...
Today's reason? To make her a citizen of the United States so they could take her orphaned brother out of the country before Tio Ramon assumed custody. No one married for those sorts of reasons anymore, did they? This wasn't a century ago when arranged marriages were the norm. Her own emotions were in such a turmoil, grief from losing her father still so fresh. Mixed with that grief was guilt over all her resentment of her papa's overprotective ways. She was definitely in no condition to make permanent decisions.
Besides, she wanted Lucas to love her as much as she loved him. She wanted him to live and breathe to be with her—as she felt for him. Only while making love did he shake off restraints and she thought maybe, just maybe... But then perhaps all men behaved that way during sex. What did she know?
She did know, however, that time was running out. Her period was late. Only a couple of days, but enough for a regular-cycle person to sweat. These next few weeks would set the course for their relationship for the rest of their lives.
"I didn't say I wouldn't marry you. Only that I wouldn't marry you because you were my first lover. And not because you were having an amazing finish during sex which led you to say something in the heat of the moment. And not because my brother needs to go to the United States."
"So what would make you marry me?" He gripped the stone bench until his knuckles went white.
"If you don't know or feel it, then what's the use in my telling you?" She set aside her bubble wand so he wouldn't see her hands shake.
"You want me to say I love you? Well fine, Sarafina. I love you."
He barked the admission with so much frustration she resisted the urge to dump the whole container of bubbles on his head. But she also couldn't resist the urge to stay and listen.
His chest pumped. "I can't think of anyone else but you. It's a struggle to concentrate on work. You've turned my world upside down. It's not a feeling I particularly enjoy and I can't imagine living my entire life this way." He let go of the stone bench long enough to bury his hand in her hair and cup her neck. "I can't imagine living my life without you, either."
"Oh." Her anger melted along with almost all of her reservations. Perhaps she could forget about the rest.
"That was good?"
"Very good."
His fingers tunneled into her hair, his thumb on her cheek as he leaned nearer. "So does this mean you'II marry me? Come to the States with your brother and let me take care of you both?"
So close to a romantic declaration—and then he'd gone back to the duty card again.
Was she being greedy? He'd said he loved her, even coughed up those beautifully intense words about how she moved him. Except she wanted more than to be "taken care of." Her father had almost smothered her with his sheltering, although thinking such negative thoughts about him felt disloyal to his memory.
Her world was in such turmoil. She could wait to be sure she was pregnant—and to give Lucas more time to see her as an independent woman, able to stand by his side as a partner.
She turned to kiss his palm. "I'm not saying no. I'm just not ready to say yes yet."
He looked skyward, his curse riding a long exhale, before he met her eyes again. "You don't know what the hell you want, but I'll be damned if I'll jump through hoops like some trained poodle."
"That's not fair." Was it?
"Welcome to the big leagues, lady, because life is rarely fair." He shoved to his feet, snatched up his bag of birdseed and stalked toward the embassy.
Regret stung like soap in her eyes. Tears fuzzed the edges of her vision. The rest of the world faded until she could only see his broad shoulders, the lean strength of him as he left her with long-legged strides.
He seemed so invincible. Could he be as vulnerable as she felt? Just thinking of losing him for good burned her chest with a pain so intense she stumbled and could have sworn it was a real physical wound.
Then Lucas was pivoting back to her. But the fiery pain didn't ease. He was trying to tell her something, except she couldn't hear him over the dull roar in her ears and the mad flapping of all his birds as they flew away simultaneously.
He was sprinting back to her. Surely the ache would ease if he put his arms around her. She tried to reach for him, but the simple movement threw her off balance. She lurched forward, stumbling.
Something was wrong.