I looked his way but still refused to turn. “Don’t, what?” I asked, a fake, polite smile plastered across my lips.
“We should talk,” he said.
I ignored that. “We should probably leave, Ian. I don’t want your mother hating me any more than she already does.”
I slipped my arm from his grip and opened the door, following the short corridor out into the living room and through the front door. I could feel Ian’s heavy presence right behind me, close yet so very far away. I wanted to run to him and away from him all at the same time. I was so confused. I loved him. I swore he loved me back, but he’d just stood there.
I descended down the winding pebble-paved drive and found my way to the cars. Standing beside them all was Ian’s family. I smiled at them despite my heavy heart.
“You’re a vision, Sophie,” Simon said, reaching for my hand and kissing my cheek.
“Very lovely,” Henrik added with a jovial smile.
I looked on Abri in her sleek black dress and met her gaze. “Very beautiful, Abri,” I told her sincerely. She simply nodded.
No one, from what I could tell, knew what had transpired between Ian and me in that room. No one, except for Abri. She studied me closely, then her son, and back to me. Her eyes narrowed on us both.
Henrik opened the passenger door of a silver Audi for Abri and she got in, her gaze still plastered on Ian and me. Simon let himself into the back of the sedan and Henrik walked to the driver’s side. I watched all of them before Ian’s hand found my lower back.
“I’m over here,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine despite what had transpired.
He led me to a black Mercedes G-Class. “This is yours?” I asked him.
“Not really. It’s just the car I used when I lived here. My parents bought it.”
“I see.”
He opened my door for me and I slid in. I reached for my belt but he beat me to it, wrapping me with it and buckling me in. He kissed my neck unexpectedly, perplexing me, and shut the door.
“What was that?” I asked him when he got in on his side.
“What was what?” he asked, buckling himself in.
“The belt? The kiss?”
“I needed to do it, wanted to be close to you then, I guess.”
He shrugged his shoulders as if that explained it and started the engine, bracing his hand on my headrest as he backed out of the driveway. We followed his parents to Aubergine’s in silence. He never took his hand off the headrest and the warmth from his hand kept permanent butterflies fluttering. It felt bittersweet though because, at the same time, my heart pounded in hurt.
Just because he didn’t say he loved you doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, Sophie.
I was being a little bit pyscho. I knew it. It’s just, the whole love thing was new to me. I’d never loved anyone like I’d loved Ian before.
Cut yourself some slack then, but move on. Own your feelings but don’t expect reciprocation. Let that come if it comes.
I let the bitterness melt off my chest and slither to my feet.
“I couldn’t say it,” he blurted.
My head whipped his direction. “I know.”
“You don’t understand,” he said.
“I do,” I told him, resting my cheek against his hand.
He looked at me briefly and I tried to convey to him that there was no pressure. He turned back toward the road.
“No, you really, really don’t.” He took a deep breath. “The truth is, I’m so deep in love with you, I can’t see straight. The truth is, I’ve been afraid to admit it to myself, let alone you. The truth is, I’m terrified.”