“I’m not a freak. I promise,” he said. “Just hang around in the crowd after the show. I’ll find you.”
“Why?” I asked him as he stalked off outside, forgetting why he was standing in line.
“Trust me. It’ll be worth sticking around for.”
This equally intrigued me as well as frightened me but not enough that I wouldn’t find out what it was all about.
After I got my water, I headed back up front and squeezed my way through the crowd back to Sunny’s side, but she was nowhere to be seen so I stood lamely by myself. I didn’t care that much actually because I wanted a good “seat” for The Belle Jar. I wanted to be near the stage because there was a chance I needed to help cue Will on bass as he kept missing his new entrance on their third song.
Pampered Life shot out like a rocket from the beginning and blanketed the crowd around me, making everyone stunned by the power of it. It wasn’t long before everyone realized that The Belle Jar was a force to be reckoned with. I was so proud of them, riding high on their talent right along with them.
Seemingly out of nowhere, my breath was wrestled out of my chest when I saw him inch closer to the stage, a quiet towering figure, eyes intent on the stage. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Breathe, January. Breathe. He watched The Belle Jar with rapt attention. As I looked on him, my feet pushed themselves closer on their own accord. I was being pulled toward him by an unseen force. I found my feet planted right next to him but couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. He was too magnificent to behold, really. He smelled so delicious I could have eaten him with a spoon. He was all man, no boy in him at all. I peeked briefly at his hands and guessed he probably played the bass judging by the size and location of the calluses.
I wanted to take his hands in mine and study them for hours, rub my thumbs over the worn bits of skin and warm them with my touch. The attraction I felt for him was heady and nothing like I’d ever felt for anyone before. My eyes followed his heavily clad feet, up his worn jeans, and around his wallet chain. I froze, not wanting to take it further, not wanting to know what I’d do if I went any higher.
A minute passed before my gaze traveled over the little bit of wide leather belt exposed under his dark, weighty hoodie and jacket. My eyes stopped at his goatee and I felt his considerable stare on my own face. He’d discovered me, but I was too enthralled to be embarrassed then. I reached up and met my eyes with his. They pierced me like an arrow, those ice blue eyes.
I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t help myself it seems, and I watched my right hand travel up his arm slowly, glide over his shoulder, hesitate at his neck, but push further past the boundaries of sane as the back of my fingers trailed over the line of his jaw. I was pulled into the incredible magic this guy possessed over me. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft. His eyes closed at the feel of my hand, his jaw clenched slightly. I was distracted as his chest pumped with each deep intake of breath.
He surprised me when he turned more fully toward me and reached down, deliberately threading both his hands through my hair and bringing his face closely to mine. He narrowed his eyes, his brows furrowed slightly, conflict written in droves in the lines of his face. He took a deep breath in through his nose, languidly closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.
Sluggishly, I brought his beautiful mouth to mine. He tasted of mint and a little bit of yeast from the beer I saw him drinking at the bar earlier. It was the sweetest, most delicious flavor I’d ever tasted and, God, I wanted more. There was no shame in my motions as I gripped the front of his hoodie in both my hands and delved my tongue deeper into his mouth. The kiss became feverish, dangerous, heated. He moved one of his hands from my hair to the back of my neck and traced his fingers down to the small of my back, pressing me deeper into his chest and hips, inciting a slight moan from me which only spurred him on more.
Suddenly, his eyes shot open in realization. He broke it abruptly, pushed me away lightly and set me right on my feet. I felt bereft of something but didn’t know what that something was. I didn’t know this guy, didn’t know his name, yet it didn’t scare me or make me feel ashamed in any way. It felt right, so very right.
We both stared at the other deeply, panting from the exertion of our unbelievable kiss. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it, breathing deeper through my nose to control my nerves. Nobody had ever made me feel the way this stranger did. He was like electric fire on my skin. I needed to know his name but the silence between us seemed impenetrable, neither of us wanting to break the charged calm that separated us.
Unexpectedly, his eyes became hard, his stare admitting…disgust? His jaw clenched harshly. He turned and walked away from me into the crowd, leaving me alone with myself, alone with my thoughts. My eyes began to water as the final comprehension of what I’d just done washed over me in shameful realization. I blinked and a single tear came cascading down my cheek. I wiped it away just as I looked back up toward the stage, Casey’s face held an expression of concern, but I smiled at him just as I signaled to the bassist to begin his new entrance. Perfect timing, I thought absently.
I was no longer interested in seeing the rest of the set nor willing to endure Circumvent’s. I didn’t want to wait for the guy Jason from the bar either. I wanted out of there. I was humiliated and shunned and an idiot. Self-inflicted bad decisions seemed to be at the top of my list that day. I shoved my way through the crowd and finally broke free at the back on the verge of a sob. I went left into the bar just as someone grabbed the back of my shirt. I tried to ignore it, but the person insisted I turn around, so I did, ready to give them a few choice words but discovered the guy from the bar standing in front of me.
“I told you to stick around,” he said in a friendly tone.
“I know but I’ve gotta jet. Something’s come up,” I said vaguely, tensing my expression to avoid shedding the tears that wanted so badly to come flooding at that moment.
“No, you’re staying,” he said, ignoring me and offering his arm. I opened my mouth to tell him to screw off, but he gave me a look that shut me up. “Trust me, January,” he whispered kindly. “You are not going to want to miss this.”
“Fine,” I said, a little peeved but more sad than anything. I took his arm and we worked our way to the edge of the crowd as The Belle Jar’s set came to an end. The crowd went berserk. “Told you,” I said to Jason.
“You’re right. They were different and talented.”
“I know.”
“But I want to see Circumvent now. I want to confirm what you’ve said.”
“Why?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in suspicion.
Jason’s eyes lit up when he noticed someone behind me. “Ah, there you are,” he said, physically turning me around to meet whomever he was talking to. My stomach dropped when I saw who he meant for me to meet. The scout from Seven. The asshole I kissed (who kissed me back!) and left me in the middle of a crowd. “January, this is Tom. Tom, this is the girl I was telling you about.”
Tom’s eyes grew sarcastic, his mouth tilted to one side. “You move fast, little girl.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. “Excuse me?”
All earlier sensations of sadness left me in a whoosh and replaced with anger. I could work with anger.
“Nothing,” he said, a soft snort escaping. “Are you seriously wasting my time with this, Jason?”
“I’m not wasting your time, Tom.”