Thomas & January (Sleepless 2)

“Do you have anything by them?”

“I do.”

“All right then.”

“Have your medicine?” I asked her.

“Aye, aye, Cap’n!” She saluted me as we stepped onto the elevator.

“Have-Have you thought any more on Kelly’s wedding?” I stuttered like a blithering idiot and settling in as the doors closed.

She hesitated. “Honestly? I don’t think it would be wise for me to go.”

She shifted slightly and leaned against the wall closest to her.

“Can I ask why?” I asked, my stomach dropping to my feet.

“Because, Tom,” she said as we both stepped off the elevator, “I don’t like being used and that’s what I think you’re doing.” She left me with my jaw hanging open and checked us out of our rooms. All I could do was watch her beautiful figure and restrain myself from groveling at her feet, begging her to change the way she thought about me. I felt like such a pathetic loser. She had more control over me than I thought possible and I wanted so badly to feel bad about that but couldn’t and that made me even more peeved. We cabbed it to the train station in a stony silence. I was fuming and could tell by her defiant body language that she’d caught on.

“Just out with it already, Tom.”

We approached a bench to wait out our train.

“How in the hell did you get the impression I was using you?” I asked. She sighed loudly and plopped onto the seat. I sat next to her, closely. “How, January?” I whispered. There was more hurt in my voice than I’d imagined I’d allowed.

She turned her body so that her face was next to mine. “I won’t be made a fool, Tom. Ever. I’ve had lots of practice at it and I’m confident enough to know that I’m worth more than showing up to a wedding on the arm of the man who’s still in love with the bride.”

I shook my head at her. “Haven’t you been listening to me, January? I’m not in love with Kelly. I haven’t been for more than six months. I’m completely and utterly over Kelly.”

“Nobody gets over the love of his or her life in six months, Tom. Nobody.”

I studied the stressed lines in her beautiful face and how the light glinted off her glassy blue eyes. I ran my fingers along the crease in her brow, relaxing the worry away.

And it clicked.

I let the recognition spread through the slow smile on my face and grabbed her shoulders, squeezing her into a hug, using every bit of restraint I had not to press too tightly. I wanted so badly for her to melt into me. “You’re right,” I secreted into her ear, crushing her to my chest. “Nobody gets over the love of their life in six months, January. Nobody. In fact,” I told her, kissing her neck so softly it could have barely registered and speaking even softer. “You never get over the love of your life.” I felt the movement of her neck as she swallowed my words. “I swear to everything, January, I am over Kelly.”

I gently placed my mouth on hers and a surge of electricity seemed to pass between us. All I could think of was that I’d somehow zapped January MacLochlainn, that she’d been served a tablespoon of her own medicine and that its effects were immediate.

I’d fallen so hard in love with her, I was surprised I hadn’t been knocked out cold.

And when I got to thinking about it, feeling so confident I was in love with Kelly Simsky six months prior was about the biggest joke I’d ever played...and it was on myself.

January

Oh. My. Lord. I’m in love with Thomas Eriksson.

Since our first kiss six months prior, I’d been falling hard for the stranger, but the short time I’d had him all to myself was enough to solidify it and in stone it seemed. I had it bad. It scared the crap out of me, to be perfectly honest. I’d only been in love twice before and both times I never felt it in my stomach the way I felt it with Thomas Eriksson. In fact, I was starting to question whether I truly loved the boys I thought I loved. They paled so white in comparison and further bolstered my confidence in my decision to wait. Tom was the only man, and I mean man, I’d ever met that could possibly endeavor to deserve my virginity and that made my insides tremble in cool anticipation.

I also wasn’t prepared to experience the entire, almost exhausting, consuming sensation that was being in love with Tom. My body seemed to ache for him. My chest and stomach hurt a dull sort of pang whenever we were apart, even for a short time, and burst in a euphoric peace when he closed whatever gap lay between us, whether it be time or proximity. It was strange and exciting and altogether a feeling of extremes but, ugh, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

With my insane new awareness, I boarded the train headed for Rome with the most butterflies ever to take root in a person’s stomach. I couldn’t stop the stupid-ass smile on my face and I know my cheeks were glowing the deepest cherry they’ve ever shown but I was okay with that. I was so gosh dang cool with that it wasn’t even funny. I wanted to do something terrible like run in circles on top of an Austrian mountain like Novice Maria in The Sound of Music, singing ‘My love is alive for Thomas Eriksson!’ I’d get my sisters to sing back up. Get the effing crackers out! Apparently, in-love-January is nothing but a ball of cheese. I was so high on what I felt for Tom, I could not care less what anyone thought of me.

Everyone, except for Tom, that is. I was pretty confident if I’d went around belting out my love for him in the key of ornery nun, he’d have me committed. It’s why I was quiet instead and acting insanely unlike myself just staring at my folded hands. I looked over and found him smiling at me.

“What?” I asked, my cheeks burning deeper. Maybe he’ll think I’m embarrassed instead of cracked out of my noggin for him.

“This,” he said, running a finger over my blazing cheek, branding me with his equally hot touch. “You’re so goddamned beautiful, January.”