Well … Rincewind realised with some surprise that, yes, he would. It wasn’t that he was entirely unused to the company of women, but it always seemed to cause trouble and, of course, it was a well known fact that it was bad for the magical abilities, although he had to admit that his particular magical abilities, being approximately those of a rubber hammer, were shaky enough to start with.
Then you’ve got nothing to lose, have you? his libido put in, in an oily tone of thought.
It was at this point Rincewind realised that something important was missing. It took him a little while to realise what it was.
No-one had tried to sell him anything for several minutes. In Al Khali, that probably meant you were dead.
He, Corona and the Luggage were alone in a long, shady alley. He could hear the bustle of the city some way away, but immediately around them there was nothing except a rather expectant silence.
‘They’ve run off,’ said Conina.
‘Are we going to be attacked?’
‘Could be. There’s been three men following us on the rooftops.’
Rincewind squinted upwards at almost the same time as three men, dressed in flowing black robes, dropped lightly into the alleyway in front of them. When he looked around two more appeared from around a corner. All five were holding long curved swords and, although the lower halves of their faces were masked, it was almost certain that they were grinning evilly.
Rincewind rapped sharply on the Luggage’s lid.
‘Kill,’ he suggested. The Luggage stood stock still for a moment, and then plodded over and stood next to Conina. It looked slightly smug and, Rincewind realised with jealous horror, rather embarrassed.
‘Why, you-’ he growled, and gave it a kick - ‘you handbag.’
He sidled closer to the girl, who was standing there with a thoughtful smile on her face.
‘What now?’ he said. ‘Are you going to offer them all a quick perm?’
The men edged a little closer. They were, he noticed, only interested in Conina.
‘I’m not armed,’ she said.
‘What happened to your legendary comb?’
‘Left it on the boat.’
‘You’ve got nothing?’
Conina shifted slightly to keep as many of the men as possible in her field of vision.
‘I’ve got a couple of hairgrips,’ she said out of the corner of her mouth.
‘Any good?’
‘Don’t know. Never tried.’
‘You got us into this!’
‘Relax. I think they’ll just take us prisoner.’
‘Oh, that’s fine for you to say. You’re not marked down as this week’s special offer.’
The Luggage snapped its lid once or twice, a little uncertain about things. One of the men gingerly extended his sword and prodded Rincewind in the small of the back.
‘They want to take us somewhere, see?’ said Conina. She gritted her teeth. ‘Oh, no,’ she muttered.
‘What’s the matter now?’
‘I can’t do it!’