Guards! Guards! (Discworld 8)

“Sorry,” said Vimes. “Sorry.”

People were climbing back into their seats, many of them giving him furious looks. Wonse was white with fury.

“How could you have been so stupid? ” he raged.

Vimes stared at his own fingers.

“I thought I saw-” he began.

“It was a raven! You know what ravens are? There must be hundreds of them in the city!”

“In the fog, you see, the size wasn't easy to-” Vimes mumbled.

“And poor Master Greetling, you ought to have known what loud noises do to him!” The head of the Teachers' Guild had to be led away by some kind people.

“Shouting out like that!” Wonse went on.

“Look, I said I'm sorry! It was an honest mistake!”

“I've had to hold up the procession and everything!”

Vimes said nothing. He could feel hundreds of amused or unsympathetic eyes on him.

“Well,” he muttered, “I'd better be getting back to the Yard-”

Wonse's eyes narrowed. “No,” he snapped. “But you can go home, if you like. Or anywhere your fancies take you. Give me your badge.”

“Huh?”

Wonse held out his hand.

“Your badge,” he repeated.

“My badge?”

“That's what I said. I want to keep you out of trouble.”

Vimes looked at him in astonishment. “But it's my badge!”

“And you're going to give it to me,” said Wonse grimly. “By order of the king.”

“What d'you mean? He doesn't even know!” Vimes heard the wailing in his own voice.

Wonse scowled. “But he will,” he said. “And I don't expect he'll even bother to appoint a successor.”

Vimes slowly undipped the verdigrised disc of copper, weighed it in his hand, and then tossed it to Wonse without a word.

For a moment he considered pleading, but something rebelled. He turned, and stalked off through the crowd.

So that was it.

As simple as that. After half a lifetime of service. No more City Watch. Huh. Vimes kicked at the pavement. It'd be some sort of Royal Guard now.

With plumes in their damn helmets.

Well, he'd had enough. It wasn't a proper life anyway, in the Watch. You didn't meet people in the best of circumstances. There must be hundreds of other things he could do, and if he thought for long enough he could probably remember what some of them were.

Pseudopolis Yard was off the route of the procession, and as he stumbled into the Watch House he could hear the distant cheering beyond the rooftops. Across the city the temple gongs were being sounded.