Pyramids (Discworld 7)

'Said what?'

'About the fresco painter. Just a moment ago.

'No, I didn't. You couldn't have been listening,' said Placlusp.

'Could have sworn you did. Anyway, this is worse than that business,' said his son. 'And it's probably going to happen again.'

'We can expect more like it?'

'Yes,' said IIb. 'We shouldn't get negative nodes, but it looks as though we will. We can expect fast flows and reverse flows and probably even short loops. I'm afraid we can expect all kinds of temporal anomalies. We'd better get the men off.'

'I suppose you couldn't work out a way we could get them to work in fast time and pay them for slow time?' said Ptaclusp. 'It's just a thought. Your brother's bound to suggest it.'

'No! Keep everyone off! We'll get the blocks in and cap it first!'

'All right, all right. I was just thinking out loud. As if we didn't have enough problems . . .'

Ptaclusp waded into the cluster of workers around the centre. Here, at least, there was silence. Dead silence.

'All right, all right,' he said. 'What's going . . . oh.' Ptaclusp IIb peered over his father's shoulder, and stuck his wrist in his mouth.

The thing was wrinkled. It was ancient. It clearly had once been a living thing. It lay on the slab like a very obscene prune.

'It was my lunch,' said the chief plasterer. 'It was my bloody lunch. I was really looking forward to that apple.' Ptaclusp hesitated. This all seemed very familiar. He'd had this feeling before. An overwhelming sensation of reja vu[17]. He met the horrified gaze of his son. Together, dreading what they might see, they turned around slowly. They saw themselves standing behind themselves, bickering over something IIb was swearing that he had already heard.

He has, too, Ptaclusp realised in dread. That's me over there. I look a lot different from the outside. And it's me over here, too. As well. Also.

It's a loop. Just like in the river, a tiny whirlpool, only it's in the flow of time. And I've just gone round it twice.

The other Ptaclusp looked up at him.

There was a long, agonising moment of temporal strain, a noise like a mouse blowing bubblegum, and the loop broke, and the figure faded.

'I know what's causing it,' muttered IIb indistinctly, because of his wrist. 'I know the pyramid isn't complete, but it will be, so the effects are sort of echoing backwards, dad, we ought to stop right now, it's too big, I was wrong-

'Shut up. Can you work out where the nodes will form?' said Ptaclusp. 'And come away over here, all the lads are staring. Pull yourself together, son.'

IIb instinctively put his hand to his belt abacus.

'Well, yes, probably,' he said. 'It's just a function of mass distribution and-'

'Right,' said the builder firmly. 'Start doing it. And then get all the foremen to come and see me.'

There was a glint like mica in Ptaclusp's eye. His jaw was squared like a block of granite. Maybe it's the pyramid that's got me thinking like this, he said, I'm thinking fast, I know it.

'And get your brother up here, too,' he added.

It is the pyramid effect. I'm remembering an idea I'm going to have.

Best not to think too hard about that. Be practical.

He stared around at the half-completed site. The gods knew we couldn't do it in time, he said. Now we don't have to. We can take as long as we like!

'Are you all right?' said IIb. 'Dad, are you all right?'

'Was that one of your time loops?' said Ptaclusp dreamily. What an idea! No-one would ever beat them on a contract ever again, they'd win bonuses for completion and it didn't matter how long it took!

'No! Dad, we ought-'