The king put a bandaged arm over his trembling shoulders.
'I know you're a good man with a needle, Dil,' he said. 'Tell me - how are you with a sledgehammer?'
Copolymer, the greatest storyteller in the history of the world, sat back and beamed at the greatest minds in the world, assembled at the dining table.
Teppic had added another iota to his store of new knowledge. 'Symposium' meant a knife-and-fork tea.
'Well,' said Copolymer, and launched into the story of the Tsortean Wars.
'You see, what happened was, he'd taken her back home, and her father - this wasn't the old king, this was the one before, the one with the wossname, he married some girl from over Elharib way, she had a squint, what was her name now, began with a P. Or an L. One of them letters, anyway. Her father owned an island out on the bay there, Papylos I think it was. No, I tell a lie, it was Crinix. Anyway, the king, the other king, he raised an army and they . . . Elenor, that was her name. She had a squint, you know. But quite attractive, they say. When I say married, I trust I do not have to spell it out for you. I mean, it was a bit unofficial. Er. Anyway, there was this wooden horse and after they'd got in . . . Did I tell you about this horse? It was a horse. I'm pretty sure it was a horse. Or maybe it was a chicken. Forget my own name next! It was wossname's idea, the one with the limp. Yes. The limp in his leg, I mean. Did I mention him? There'd been this fight. No, that was the other one, I think. Yes. Anyway, this wooden pig, damn clever idea, they made it out of thing. Tip of my tongue. Wood. But that was later, you know. The fight! Nearly forgot the fight. Yes. Damn good fight. Everyone banging on their shields and yelling. Wossname's armour shone like shining armour. Fight and a half, that fight. Between thingy, not the one with the limp, the other one, wossname, had red hair. You know. Tall fellow, talked with a lisp. Hold on, just remembered, he was from some other island. Not him. The other one, with the limp. Didn't want to go, he said he was mad. Of course, he was bloody mad, definitely. I mean, a wooden cow! Like wossname said, the king, no, not that king, the other one, he saw the goat, he said, “I fear the Ephebians, especially when they're mad enough to leave bloody great wooden livestock on the doorstep, talk about nerve, they must think we was born yesterday, set fire to it,” and, of course, wossname had nipped in round the back and put everyone to the sword, talk about laugh. Did I say she had a squint? They said she was pretty, but it takes all sorts. Yes. Anyway, that's how it happened. Now, of course, wossname - I think he was called Melycanus, had a limp - he wanted to go home, well, you would, they'd been there for years, he wasn't getting any younger. That's why he dreamt up the thing about the wooden wossname. Yes. I tell a lie, Lavaelous was the one with the knee. Pretty good fight, that fight, take it from me.'
He lapsed into self-satisfied silence.
'Pretty good fight,' he mumbled and, smiling faintly, dropped off to sleep.
Teppic was aware that his own mouth was hanging open. He shut it. Along the table several of the diners were wiping their eyes.
'Magic,' said Xeno. 'Sheer magic. Every word a tassel on the canopy of Time.'
'It's the way he remembers every tiny detail. Pin-sharp,' murmured Ibid.
Teppic looked down the length of the table, and then nudged Xeno beside him. 'Who is everyone?' he said.
'Well, Ibid you already know. And Copolymer. Over there, that's Iesope, the greatest teller of fables in the world. And that's Antiphon, the greatest writer of comic plays in the world.'
'Where is Pthagonal?' said Teppic. Xeno pointed to the far end of the table, where a glum-looking, heavy-drinking man was trying to determine the angle between two bread rolls. 'I'll introduce you to him afterwards,' he said.
Teppic looked around at the bald heads and long white beards, which seemed to be a badge of office. If you had a bald head and a long white beard, they seemed to indicate, whatever lay between them must be bursting with wisdom. The only exception was Antiphon, who looked as though he was built of pork.
They are great minds, he told himself. These are men who are trying to work out how the world fits together, not by magic, not by religion, but just by inserting their brains in whatever crack they can find and trying to lever it apart.
Ibid rapped on the table for silence.
'The Tyrant has called for war on Tsort,' he said. 'Now, let us consider the place of war in the ideal republic,' he said. 'We would require-'
'Excuse me, could you just pass me the celery?' said Iesope. 'Thank you.'
'-the ideal republic, as I was saying, based on the fundamental laws that govern-'
'And the salt. It's just by your elbow.'
'-the fundamental laws, that is, which govern all men. Now, it is without doubt true that war. . . could you stop that, please?'
'It's celery,' said Iesope, crunching cheerfully. 'You can't help it with celery.'
Xeno peered suspiciously at what was on his fork.
'Here, this is squid,' he said. 'I didn't ask for squid. Who ordered squid?'
'-without doubt,' repeated Thid, raising his voice, 'without doubt, I put it to you-
'I think this is the lamb couscous,' said Antiphon.
'Was yours the squid?'
'I asked for marida and dolmades.'
'I ordered the lamb. Just pass it along, will you?'