Equal Rites (Discworld 3)

“Have you any idea of what it can do?”

Smith sagged. “No.”

Granny paused, and deflated a little.

“No,” she repeated, more softly. “No, you wouldn't.”

She sat down on the anvil and tried to think calm thoughts.

“Look. Magic has a sort of - life of its own. That doesn't matter, because - anyway, you see, wizard magic -” she looked up at his big, blank expression and tried again. “Well, you know cider?”

Smith nodded. He felt he was on firmer ground here, but he wasn't certain of where it was going to lead.

“And then there's the ticker. Applejack,” said the witch. The smith nodded. Everyone in Bad Ass made applejack in the winter, by leaving cider tubs outside overnight and taking out the ice until a tiny core of alcohol was left.

“Well, you can drink lots of cider and you just feel better and that's it, isn't it?”

The smith nodded again.

“But applejack, you drink that in little mugs and you don't drink a lot and you don't drink it often, because it goes right to your head?”

The smith nodded again and, aware that he wasn't making a major contribution to the dialogue, added, “That's right.”

“That's the difference,” said Granny.

“The difference from what?”

Granny sighed. “The difference between witch magic and wizard magic,” she said. “And it's found her, and if she doesn't control it, then there are those who will control her. Magic can be a sort of door, and there are unpleasant things on the other side. Do you understand?”

The smith nodded. He didn't really understand, but he correctly surmised that if he revealed this fact Granny would start going into horrible details.

“She's strong in her mind and it might take a while,” said Granny. “But sooner or later they'll challenge her.”

Smith picked up a hammer from his bench, looked at it as though he had never seen it before, and put it down again.

“But,” he said, “if it's wizard magic she's got, learning witchery won't be any good, will it? You said they're different.”

“They're both magic. If you can't learn to ride an elephant, you can at least learn to ride a horse.”

“What's an elephant?”

“A kind of badger,” said Granny. She hadn't maintained forest credibility for forty years by ever admitting ignorance.

The blacksmith sighed. He knew he was beaten. His wife had made it clear that she favored the idea and, now that he came to think about it, there were some advantages. After all, Granny wouldn't last forever, and being father to the area's only witch might not be too bad, at that.

“All right,” he said.

And so, as the winter turned and started the long, reluctant climb towards spring, Esk spent days at a time with Granny Weatherwax, learning witch craft.

It seemed to consist mainly of things to remember.

The lessons were quite practical. There was cleaning the kitchen table and Basic Herbalism. There was mucking out the goats and The Uses of Fungi. There was doing the washing and The Summoning of the Small Gods. And there was always tending the big copper still in the scullery and The Theory and Practice of Distillation. By the time the warm Rim winds were blowing, and the snow remained only as little streaks of slush on the Hub side of trees, Esk knew how to prepare a range of ointments, several medicinal brandies, a score of special infusions, and a number of mysterious potions that Granny said she might learn the use of in good time.

What she hadn't done was any magic at all.

“All in good time,” repeated Granny vaguely.

“But I'm supposed to be a witch!”